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== They Won't Even Press Record ==
== They Won't Even Press Record ==
{{Action|Song: Richard Ashcroft - Science of Silence}}
{{Ricky|Richard Ashcroft, "Science of Silence" on XFM 104.9. I love that.}}
{{Steve|Yes. Concur.}}
{{Ricky|He's one of my favorite artists now, I just think... I- he's so- I don't know why he's not ballistic.}}
{{Steve|Mmm.}}
{{Ricky|He's got everything. He's got- one of our best rock stars.}}
{{Steve|Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.}}
{{Ricky|I'm Ricky Gervais.}}
{{Steve|(Laughing) Hello there!}}
{{Ricky|You're Steve Merchant.}}
{{Steve|I am indeed.}}
{{Ricky|Ehhh, Karl Pilkington, over there. (Loudly) Big day today!}}
{{Steve|Really?}}
{{Ricky|Yeh, for Karl. He hasn't been looking forward to it, he's been whingin' in the week. A couple of things: he thinks he's overworked, he thinks he- he thinks he's overworked here and he's stressed and he's got to do DIY. MTV are coming im- in, right to give him the chance of a- a lifetime to do a- just a little screen test and he's going, "Well, I'm not gonna look good, am I? They're not gonna-", I go, "Why?", he said, "Well, I've got a round head and I'll be wearin' headphones".}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve Chuckles}}
{{Ricky|And uhh, he's- he's not made an effort, he thinks, "Ooh, I'll put 'em off" he said, "They won't even press 'Record'". He's got a spot on his head.}}
{{Steve|Uh huh. Uh huh.}}
{{Ricky|I mean...You know wh- also--}}
{{Steve|Karl, you're not looking forward to it? You're not excited about it? It's a great oppurtunity.}}
{{Karl|Why's it a great oppurtunity?}}
{{Ricky|To get on MTV?!}}
{{Karl|No but--}}
{{Ricky|It's money for old rope.}}
{{Steve|Presenting.}}
{{Karl|No but look what's happened to people like, umm, Jeremy Speak or whatever his name is and all that.}}
{{Ricky|Jeremy Spake, yeah.}}
{{Karl|Yeah and ummm--}}
{{Ricky|Yeah. Slightly different. Slightly different.}}
{{Karl|Why is it?}}
{{Ricky|Well...}}
{{Karl|See?}}
{{Ricky|Y- you're- you're makin' it in the industry and you've got- you've got something to give, he- he ''happened to be around'' while they were filming an ''airport''.}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve Laughs Slightly}}
{{Karl|Yeah, well--}}
{{Ricky|Do you see the difference?}}
{{Karl|All right, the other one then, who's on a boat.}}
{{Action|Pause}}
{{Ricky|Same thing--}}
{{Steve|She's doing very well!}}
{{Ricky|Although at least she had a skill. She had a skill, you know, she can sing. You know...}}
{{Karl|Well she- she's c- I d- I d- I think it can all go wrong... d'ya know what I mean?}}
{{Ricky|Well of course it can. So can sitting in your little room moanin' about nothing happening in the world. You know he- he wanted to stop "Educating Ricky" cuz nothing had happened. He said- he said, "Look what happened last week - I scoured the net...", he said, "all I found was a dog in a car wash and a parrot and a vicar."}}
{{Steve|Uh huh.}}
{{Karl|I'll tell you what: there aint much more going on this week.}}
{{Ricky|Well you're talkin' sh- listen, me and Steve... yesterday, we took a day off to prove you wrong and we've come up with two of the most incredible things.}}
{{Steve|Extraordinary.}}
{{Ricky|I told you about- they're amazing. So there are things out there or s- just- j- but go for truth- go for truth and science and discovery--}}
{{Karl|Yeah, that's what I do. That's what I do, yeah. Yeah.}}
{{Ricky|Fact is- is stranger than fiction. You don't have to resert- revert to, sort of like, God and ghosts.}}
{{Karl|I know, yeah. I know, yeah.}}
{{Ricky|Do you know what I mean?}}
{{Karl|But the funny thing is... do you know, like, the last couple of weeks I been sayin' there's not much going on?}}
{{Ricky|Yeah.}}
{{Karl|I found out, when I was looking that there was a day in 1930... right, it was a Good Friday, there was no news, there was nothing going on...}}
{{Act:Ricky|Ricky Begins To Laugh}}
{{Karl|They had to put a music video on or something.}}
{{Act:Together|Ricky and Steve Laugh Quietly}}
{{Karl|On the telly. Because there was nothing going on.}}
{{Ricky|Play a record. We're gonna play some classic tracks today. This is d- "Debaser".}}
{{Action|Song: Pixies - Debaser}}


== A Good Way of Promoting This Show ==
== A Good Way of Promoting This Show ==

Revision as of 00:05, 15 June 2009

This is a transcription of the 07 December 2002 episode, from Xfm Series 2

They Won't Even Press Record

Song: Richard Ashcroft - Science of Silence

Ricky: Richard Ashcroft, "Science of Silence" on XFM 104.9. I love that.

Steve: Yes. Concur.

Ricky: He's one of my favorite artists now, I just think... I- he's so- I don't know why he's not ballistic.

Steve: Mmm.

Ricky: He's got everything. He's got- one of our best rock stars.

Steve: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Ricky: I'm Ricky Gervais.

Steve: (Laughing) Hello there!

Ricky: You're Steve Merchant.

Steve: I am indeed.

Ricky: Ehhh, Karl Pilkington, over there. (Loudly) Big day today!

Steve: Really?

Ricky: Yeh, for Karl. He hasn't been looking forward to it, he's been whingin' in the week. A couple of things: he thinks he's overworked, he thinks he- he thinks he's overworked here and he's stressed and he's got to do DIY. MTV are coming im- in, right to give him the chance of a- a lifetime to do a- just a little screen test and he's going, "Well, I'm not gonna look good, am I? They're not gonna-", I go, "Why?", he said, "Well, I've got a round head and I'll be wearin' headphones".

Steve Chuckles

Ricky: And uhh, he's- he's not made an effort, he thinks, "Ooh, I'll put 'em off" he said, "They won't even press 'Record'". He's got a spot on his head.

Steve: Uh huh. Uh huh.

Ricky: I mean...You know wh- also--

Steve: Karl, you're not looking forward to it? You're not excited about it? It's a great oppurtunity.

Karl: Why's it a great oppurtunity?

Ricky: To get on MTV?!

Karl: No but--

Ricky: It's money for old rope.

Steve: Presenting.

Karl: No but look what's happened to people like, umm, Jeremy Speak or whatever his name is and all that.

Ricky: Jeremy Spake, yeah.

Karl: Yeah and ummm--

Ricky: Yeah. Slightly different. Slightly different.

Karl: Why is it?

Ricky: Well...

Karl: See?

Ricky: Y- you're- you're makin' it in the industry and you've got- you've got something to give, he- he happened to be around while they were filming an airport.

Steve Laughs Slightly

Karl: Yeah, well--

Ricky: Do you see the difference?

Karl: All right, the other one then, who's on a boat.

Pause

Ricky: Same thing--

Steve: She's doing very well!

Ricky: Although at least she had a skill. She had a skill, you know, she can sing. You know...

Karl: Well she- she's c- I d- I d- I think it can all go wrong... d'ya know what I mean?

Ricky: Well of course it can. So can sitting in your little room moanin' about nothing happening in the world. You know he- he wanted to stop "Educating Ricky" cuz nothing had happened. He said- he said, "Look what happened last week - I scoured the net...", he said, "all I found was a dog in a car wash and a parrot and a vicar."

Steve: Uh huh.

Karl: I'll tell you what: there aint much more going on this week.

Ricky: Well you're talkin' sh- listen, me and Steve... yesterday, we took a day off to prove you wrong and we've come up with two of the most incredible things.

Steve: Extraordinary.

Ricky: I told you about- they're amazing. So there are things out there or s- just- j- but go for truth- go for truth and science and discovery--

Karl: Yeah, that's what I do. That's what I do, yeah. Yeah.

Ricky: Fact is- is stranger than fiction. You don't have to resert- revert to, sort of like, God and ghosts.

Karl: I know, yeah. I know, yeah.

Ricky: Do you know what I mean?

Karl: But the funny thing is... do you know, like, the last couple of weeks I been sayin' there's not much going on?

Ricky: Yeah.

Karl: I found out, when I was looking that there was a day in 1930... right, it was a Good Friday, there was no news, there was nothing going on...

Ricky Begins To Laugh

Karl: They had to put a music video on or something.

Ricky and Steve Laugh Quietly

Karl: On the telly. Because there was nothing going on.

Ricky: Play a record. We're gonna play some classic tracks today. This is d- "Debaser".

Song: Pixies - Debaser


A Good Way of Promoting This Show

Win The Best of the Weather

Do We Need These?

Annoyed That They're Not True

There's a Bloke Who Reads Arses

1 in 10 Rams are Gay

If Things Are Meant To Be, They'll Happen

Tom McGibbon of Blockshall Road

What a Great Day