12 October 2002/Transcript
This is a transcription of the 12 October 2002 episode, from Xfm Series 2
A Lung Feeling
Ricky: Strokes, er, Someday, I'm already annoyed!
Steve: I'm in a- I'm in a bad mood
Ricky: I've been here three minutes and I'm already annoyed.
Steve: Yeah.
Ricky: Oh God.
Steve: Bring back Claire, I tell you.
Ricky: No, it's not his fault-
Steve: It is.
Ricky: -it's the whole place. The library's sh-shite, I tried to ge-- Oh God. I had to g-
Steve: Chill, chill, chill.
Ricky: I had to go to Capital library, er, oh-
Steve: Chill, chill, chill, chill.
Ricky: Fancy that, I had to go to Capital library to get a couple of records I wanted, right? Place is falling apart, the email's not working, it's so shoddy. He's had two weeks off. "Ooh, I'm on holiday." I mean, they, really, they might as well bulldoze this, honestly. 'Cause for all the- you know.
Steve: It is ludicrous.
Ricky: And, we get paid... peanuts.
Steve: You get paid, do you?
Ricky laughs
Ricky: Ah, and it really annoys me that you have to fight t- ah, anyway.
Steve: Anyway, just calm down-
Ricky: XFM 104.9-
Steve: -explain who we are.
Ricky: -I'm Ricky Gervais, with me Steve Merchant and Karl Pilkington. Karl, you're back.
Karl: Alright.
Ricky: How was it?
Karl: What, the holiday?
Ricky: Yeah.
Karl: Well, it wasn't all fun was it, because me dad was in, er, was in hospital.
Ricky: Oh, but he wasn't-
Steve: He wasn't during the holiday.
Ricky: -not during the holiday though, was he? You came back from holiday and then found that out, didn't you?
Karl: Yeah, but it happened when I was on holiday.
Ricky: Did you know that though, When you were on holiday?
Karl: No, 'cos I didn't take me phone with me.
Steve: Well, that's our question-
Ricky: Yeah, okay.
Karl: But the weird thing is, I got- I got a feeling. When I was sat there. 'Cos it normally happens-
Ricky: It wasn't the nudist beach was it?
Karl: -when I first went away to-
Ricky: When you saw that old fella with his packet out?
Ricky sniggers
Karl: -when I went to Ibiza, right. I, er, I had a feeling, and I called home and me dad had punctured a lung.
Steve: When you say you had a feeling, what do you mean, a feeling?
Karl: Just like "Oh, I should call home, there's something not right."
Steve: Hmm. That's a very specific feeling, how did that ma-
Ricky laughs
Steve: -how did that manifest itself?
Ricky: Hold on-
Steve: How does that- how do you get that? What kind of feeling is that-
Ricky: Was it- was it- "Oh God, I'm getting-
Steve: -is that a tingling thing?
Ricky: -I'm getting a bit of a lung feeling.
Steve: Yeah, hmm.
Ricky: A bit of a dad lung feeling
Steve: That feels like- that feels like a punctured lung, hmm.
Ricky: Hold on-
Karl: But anyway...
Ricky: No, but anyway, holiday was good. We talked about it last... week anyway.
Steve: Let's- let's probe Karl about his holiday later-
Ricky: Okay.
Steve: -'cos, you know, that's the sort of thing that audiences will stay tuned for Rick, I'm pretty certain.
Ricky sniggers
Ricky: Yeah, sure, sure-
Steve: Find out more about-
Ricky: You know more about this radio business than me-
Steve: That's true enough.
Ricky: -you know, you've hooked them already.
Steve sniggers
Steve: Indeed, yeah.
Ricky: Erm-
Steve: Well, also I'm thinking, we've got nothing.
Ricky laughs
Ricky: Ever, now.
Steve: So- we may aswell save that.
Ricky: No, I resent it. I used to put a lot of work in, but now, I, you know, I think of the money, which is, you know, for me, pretty shoddy.
Steve sniggers
Steve: Well, yeah-
Ricky: You know what I mean? I don't usually get out of bed for-
Steve: -you make an awful lot of cash.
Ricky: Well exactly, yeah. And er, you know, and the whole thing, the whole setup... It was raining today, I thought, "I should have a cab in."
Steve: Hmm.
Ricky: You know, and then the sun came out so I walked in again.
Steve: Hmm.
Steve laughs
Ricky sighs
Ricky: ...dear...
Steve: How are ya?
Ricky: But, erm, I'll tell you what, I got a bit criticised last week as well, that I- I only played ballads and same songs, so I'm gonna- I'm gonna rock out this week.
Steve: Ah, I'm loving it.
Ricky: I've been down to the Capital library-
Steve: Right.
Ricky: -to get some good tunes, and er, what about a little bit of AC/DC?
Steve: Ahhhh.
Ricky: "You shook me all night long."
Steve: Let's hear it.
Song: AC/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long