07 December 2002/Transcript
This is a transcription of the 07 December 2002 episode, from Xfm Series 2
They Won't Even Press Record
Song: Richard Ashcroft - Science of Silence
Ricky: Richard Ashcroft, "Science of Silence" on XFM 104.9. I love that.
Steve: Yes. Concur.
Ricky: He's one of my favorite artists now, I just think... I- he's so- I don't know why he's not ballistic.
Steve: Mmm.
Ricky: He's got everything. He's got- one of our best rock stars.
Steve: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Ricky: I'm Ricky Gervais.
Steve: (Laughing) Hello there!
Ricky: You're Steve Merchant.
Steve: I am indeed.
Ricky: Ehhh, Karl Pilkington, over there. (Loudly) Big day today!
Steve: Really?
Ricky: Yeh, for Karl. He hasn't been looking forward to it, he's been whingin' in the week. A couple of things: he thinks he's overworked, he thinks he- he thinks he's overworked here and he's stressed and he's got to do DIY. MTV are coming im- in, right to give him the chance of a- a lifetime to do a- just a little screen test and he's going, "Well, I'm not gonna look good, am I? They're not gonna-", I go, "Why?", he said, "Well, I've got a round head and I'll be wearin' headphones".
Steve Chuckles
Ricky: And uhh, he's- he's not made an effort, he thinks, "Ooh, I'll put 'em off" he said, "They won't even press 'Record'". He's got a spot on his head.
Steve: Uh huh. Uh huh.
Ricky: I mean...You know wh- also--
Steve: Karl, you're not looking forward to it? You're not excited about it? It's a great oppurtunity.
Karl: Why's it a great oppurtunity?
Ricky: To get on MTV?!
Karl: No but--
Ricky: It's money for old rope.
Steve: Presenting.
Karl: No but look what's happened to people like, umm, Jeremy Speak or whatever his name is and all that.
Ricky: Jeremy Spake, yeah.
Karl: Yeah and ummm--
Ricky: Yeah. Slightly different. Slightly different.
Karl: Why is it?
Ricky: Well...
Karl: See?
Ricky: Y- you're- you're makin' it in the industry and you've got- you've got something to give, he- he happened to be around while they were filming an airport.
Steve Laughs Slightly
Karl: Yeah, well--
Ricky: Do you see the difference?
Karl: All right, the other one then, who's on a boat.
Pause
Ricky: Same thing--
Steve: She's doing very well!
Ricky: Although at least she had a skill. She had a skill, you know, she can sing. You know...
Karl: Well she- she's c- I d- I d- I think it can all go wrong... d'ya know what I mean?
Ricky: Well of course it can. So can sitting in your little room moanin' about nothing happening in the world. You know he- he wanted to stop "Educating Ricky" cuz nothing had happened. He said- he said, "Look what happened last week - I scoured the net...", he said, "all I found was a dog in a car wash and a parrot and a vicar."
Steve: Uh huh.
Karl: I'll tell you what: there aint much more going on this week.
Ricky: Well you're talkin' sh- listen, me and Steve... yesterday, we took a day off to prove you wrong and we've come up with two of the most incredible things.
Steve: Extraordinary.
Ricky: I told you about- they're amazing. So there are things out there or s- just- j- but go for truth- go for truth and science and discovery--
Karl: Yeah, that's what I do. That's what I do, yeah. Yeah.
Ricky: Fact is- is stranger than fiction. You don't have to resert- revert to, sort of like, God and ghosts.
Karl: I know, yeah. I know, yeah.
Ricky: Do you know what I mean?
Karl: But the funny thing is... do you know, like, the last couple of weeks I been sayin' there's not much going on?
Ricky: Yeah.
Karl: I found out, when I was looking that there was a day in 1930... right, it was a Good Friday, there was no news, there was nothing going on...
Ricky Begins To Laugh
Karl: They had to put a music video on or something.
Ricky and Steve Laugh Quietly
Karl: On the telly. Because there was nothing going on.
Ricky: Play a record. We're gonna play some classic tracks today. This is d- "Debaser".
Song: Pixies - Debaser