01 November 2003

Season 2 Vol 1 on XFM..... Shambles--a shambles already. Steve or Ricky--"Can you believe that? I'm amazed that we're back on air and it's already a shambles! No-one was speaking, the record was ending it's... look I'm gonna shoot off..."

Ricky's Laugh..... Steve--"I was reading some of the fan e-mails and one of the things people like - actually it divides the listeners - is your laugh. Some people love it, they find it infectious, they find it adorable. But in an enclosed space it's terrifying."

Potato Strike..... Steve--"I was cooking the other night and I panicked - maybe this behaviour will spread now to other organisations. Do you know who I suddenly became terrified might go on strike? The guys in charge of the potatoes!"

Toilet etiquette..... Ricky--"It annoys me that I have to wash my hands at all - I don't wash my hands! Sometimes I don't even bother getting my knob out - I do it where I stand and change my trousers when I get home."

Happy--Karl's Happy Meter..... Karl--"Well, I think I'm happy and that but I don't always show it. I was probably on about a nine when I woke up this morning and then I sort of fell out with Suzanne over her haircut..."

Sharks--make Karl happy..... Karl--"I was happy the other week, right? I was going up to Manchester, sitting on the train, reading about sharks..."

Knobnews..... Karl--"They put him out, for the operation, and he wakes up thinking 'Thank God that's over' - but they've only gone and grown it on his arm!"

Rockbusters and Karl taking the piss..... Ricky--"You know when you do these things? You can't do them in the week, you've got to do them either Saturdays or Mondays. I'm gonna check on that, I don't want you taking time out of things you should be doing at work - Xfm's going down the tubes and you're taking the piss right, left and centre..."

Bombing--Who would you bomb?..... Steve or Ricky--"I'd bomb the Swiss. They've had it easy for far too long - while we were sorting out facism thay were holding ours and Hitler's coats..." Steve would also bomb Iceland.

Being tall should be a disability..... Steve--"It's a nightmare getting comfy chairs that I can sit in at home, I sit in a chair for very long and my back's killing me. Now how is that not a disability? But you don't see people like me whinging..." Steve goes on to say he should get financial assistance to buy a car since he cant buy the little tiny ones. And little people can have a car provided to them for free so they can drive. what?

Monkeynews..... "There was something I found last week about one that was in a nursing home. It escapes from some zoo, it's wandering about enjoying itself then when it got to the night time it was like 'What am I going to do?' and the first place it came across was this old people's home..." They get suspicious when they went thru more fruit an bananas an that than usual.