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In addition to Karl talking about the [[Hairy Chinese Kid]] for the first time, this episode marks the birth of '[[Strike It Ricky]]', '[[Big Mother]]', '[[The Rice is Right]]' , '[[Fifteen Taiwan]]', '[[Rockbusters]]', and '[[Educating Ricky]]'.  Also the (un)timely death of 'Strike it Ricky', 'Big Mother', 'The Rice is Right' and 'Fifteen Taiwan'.
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'''12 October 2002''' The birth of 'Strike it Ricky', 'Big Mother', 'The Rice is Right', 'Fifteen Taiwan', '[[Rockbusters]]' and '[[Educating Ricky]]'. Also the (un)timely death of 'Strike it Ricky', 'Big Mother', 'The Rice is Right' and 'Fifteen Tai-one'.


==Track Listing==
==Track Listing==
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!{{sectionhead|#EEEEEE|#AAAAAA|left|''For a full transcript of this episode see [[12 October 2002/Transcript]].''}}
|- 
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====Annoyed====
====1. [[12 October 2002/Transcript#A Lung Feeling|A Lung Feeling]] ''(0:00:00)''====
-Fancy that, I had to go to Capitol library to get a couple of records I wanted, place is falling apart, the e-mail's not working, it's so shoddy. He's had two weeks off -oooh- holiday, I mean, really, they might as well bulldoze this, honestly. We get paid peanuts...<br>-You get paid, do you?
Karl's back from one week's holiday and another week away due to his father's illness. He didn't take his phone with him but he had a feeling something was wrong whilst he was away.  Ricky's been criticised for his easy listening music of late so this week he's gonna rock out.


====Holiday====
====2. [[12 October 2002/Transcript#Basic Holiday Criteria|Basic Holiday Criteria]] ''(0:02:41)''====
Your criteria are so basic, it's weird. Hotel? Yes. Roof? Good. Food? Adequate. Beach? Clean. Next!
Karl tells about the surprise trip [[Suzanne|his girlfriend]] had planned for them to one of the Canary Islands. Karl brought a book of short stories about special days of past and present. He started to get bored so they went to walk on the beach where they saw a woman feeding a fish bread and a fella with no pants on who was carrying a massive rucksack.  


====Nude====
====3. [[12 October 2002/Transcript#I'm Not One for Getting Me Kit Off|I'm Not One for Getting Me Kit Off]] ''(0:09:13)''====
But when I saw him, and I thought: "Well, right, is he doing it to sort of be free and be comfy and all that?" And then I thought: "But he's carrying a big bag, I've got a pair of shorts on", and I'm not looking at him, thinking "pfff, I bet he's really comfy..." D'you know what I mean, I wasn't going: "I can't wait to get home and get me shorts off, they're really annoying me..."
Karl is confused by nudism.  Steve asks if he ever walks around the house nude and he says only to get a glass of Robinson's in the night, but he has to be careful because his neighbours might see in.


====Ideas====
====4. [[12 October 2002/Transcript#Karl's New Ideas|Karl's New Ideas]] ''(0:12:20)''====
-Do you remember 'Big Brother'?<br>-yeah...Do I remember 'Big Brother'(?) No, go on!<br>-'Big Mother', right? You call in, if your mum's heavy you win a CD.
Karl's got some new ideas for the show. The best way of coming up with ideas is to nick a TV name and twist it ... how about [[Big Mother]] or [[The Rice is Right]]?


====Bob====
====5. [[12 October 2002/Transcript#This Young Man Prepared For His Death|This Young Man Prepared For His Death]]  ''(0:16:53)''====
Let's just clarify a couple of rules here, Karl, let's make sure we thought everything through. Cos I'm pretty certain when they get these things on TV, they at least have a go at them in the office first, before they put them straight on air, I'm sure that's how it works. I'm sure [[Blockbusters|Bob Holness]] just didn't turn up the first day and he goes: "Oh, we'll wing it, it'll be fine. Bring the students in, let's have a go."
Karl explains his brilliant new game called [[Rockbusters]] and gives the first clue to the first one. Call in to play and even win some prizes.


====Silence====
====6. [[12 October 2002/Transcript#He Hasn't Thought It Through|He Hasn't Thought It Through]] ''(0:20:23)''====
-right, right, get people on the air now...<br>-No Rick, calm down.<br>-Play a record then! Do something! For Christ sake!
They need another ad break to figure out the rules of the game.


====Rockbusters====
====7. [[12 October 2002/Transcript#We Wouldn't Survive in the Real World|We Wouldn't Survive in the Real World]] ''(0:21:13)''====
You're tuned to [[Xfm|XFM 104.9]], [[Karl Pilkington]]s quiz '[[Rockbusters]]'. The format is still available to the highest bidder, please give us a call, or you could e-mail on ricky-dot-gervais-at-xfm-dot-co-dot-uk...
Eighteen seconds of silence means there's something wrong in-studio and Karl needs to get an engineer in. Ricky's solution is to not play the adverts because he doesn't want to anyway.


====Abduction====
====8. [[12 October 2002/Transcript#Let's Play Rockbusters|Let's Play Rockbusters]] ''(0:21:45)''====
-It turned out, he got home, and he said to his wife, or his girlfriend: "It's a bit weird. I just got out of the car to look at a bright light, and I got back in the car and I grew a beard!" and she said: "Never mind your beard, where've you been for three days?" And what had happened, is...<br>-He passed out, cos he was pissed?<br>-No...
Sam and Tim are on the phone to play Rockbusters. Ricky explains the rules and Karl gives out the clues and thus the first Rockbusters game is played. Neither Ricky nor Steve are impressed.


====Educating====
====9. [[12 October 2002/Transcript#Educating Ricky|Educating Ricky]] ''(0:26:23)''====
-How is that alongside 'Hanging Bacon'? Alien abduction, a hairy chinese kid and a little interesting fact about the derivation of a phrase?<br>-....What d'you mean?<br>-He didn't understand a word of that. Play a record. I knew the word derivation was gonna cause problems. I thought: "Derivation shouldn't have come out!"
Karl is stressed and Steve's not sure Karl can press buttons and talk at the same time.  Much slagging off of the studio and the library follows.  Karl has yet another idea to propose, this time called [[Educating Ricky]] which has teaser titles, including "[[Hanging Bacon]]", "[[Hairy Chinese Kid]]", and "[[Alien Gives Man A Beard]]".  Karl tells the alien-man-beard story to an incredulous Ricky and Steve. Also, there's a law in America that you can't touch a UFO.


====Stories====
====10. [[12 October 2002/Transcript#Eczema and a Boil|Eczema and a Boil]] ''(0:33:19)''====
-Yeah! yeah! Good one! You couldn't fade it out, could you? Cos you'd go: "Oh, what happened?" And that's what I'm saying. Not just any sort of pop song that keeps repeating itself, and it's like it doesn't matter if it skips or, you know what I mean, if you turn the radio off. But I'm talking about songs...<br>-"Ernie, the fastest milkman in the West."
The engineers have sorted out the desk problems but it took 25 minutes to get to Ricky's show.  Next for Educating Ricky is a story about a hairy Chinese kid. It's a well-known fact that Chinese people aren't very hairy so the press was hard on him but the doctors said he just had some eczema and a boil. Ricky and Steve still aren't impressed so Karl tries to wow them with his explanation of the phrase "chewing the fat".


====Sequel====
====11. [[12 October 2002/Transcript#That Song's Got a Good Story|That Song's Got a Good Story]] ''(0:41:40)''====
-There's a whole other sort of section.<br>-Maybe we should change this section: "Abridged versions of songs..."<br>-No, next week, we'll play the second bit then. It'd be like, eh, 'Star Wars' or something like that. Brilliant!
Karl's had a phone call confirming the story about the Chinese kid.  Ricky tries to explain that they don't just believe things randomly, and Steve's theory is that Karl only believes things that are interesting. Discussion turns to the story behind the song "He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother" and after that the continuing segment "That Song's Got a Good Story".  Kicking it off today with Stevie Wonder but Steve doesn't think the song can ever live up to Karl's explanation of it.  
====12. [[12 October 2002/Transcript#It'll Be Like Star Wars|It'll Be Like Star Wars]] ''(0:47:00)''====
Karl hasn't played the full version of Living in the City because he didn't know it existed. So maybe next week they'll play the second bit.


====Recap====
====13. [[12 October 2002/Transcript#Give Her a Rubik's Cube|Give Her a Rubik's Cube]] ''(0:47:57)''====
Well, it's been a good show, hasn't it? There's been like some sort of Rock 'n Roll 70's feel to it. Mainly the equipment, but we got through it.
Ricky asks Karl to tell them about visiting [[Karl's Dad|his dad]] in hospital.  They're dreadful places filled with people moaning (like nurses, says Ricky).  There's an old woman in the bed next to him whose hands had gone blue who was breaking wind a lot. Karl thinks they should just let her go home and not worry her. This leads to the introduction of an all-time favourite Pilkington story: [[Auntie Nora]] farts for 5 minutes.  Karl expounds on his theories about how rubbish it is to get old and have to die in hospital and Ricky plays another Stones track.


====Auntie Nora====
====14. [[12 October 2002/Transcript#Call to Confirm|Call to Confirm]] ''(0:56:21)''====
Passing wind, farting, for five minutes. Not like, you know, trumping and then nothing...Continuous.
Another call confirms that drugs do make people have wind, but no one has called to confirm the alien abduction. Ricky complains about the bad equipment again and Karl preps the listeners for next week's quizzes and games. Steve's been quite quiet for 20 minutes because he dozed off, but ends with Sly and the Family Stone for the ladies.
 
====Cheers====
-Next week though, we'll have more '[[Educating Ricky]]', we'll do the quiz, '[[Rockbusters]]', do that again.<br>-Right, I might not be here, if that's the case.


==Playlist==
==Playlist==
 
The Strokes - ''Someday''
The Strokes - Someday
<br>AC/DC - ''You Shook Me All Night Long''
<br>AC/DC - You shook me all night long
<br>The Coral - ''Dreaming of You''
<br>The Coral - Dreaming of you
<br>Led Zeppelin - ''Rock 'n Roll''
<br>Led Zeppelin - Rock 'n Roll
<br>Coldplay - ''The Scientist''
<br>Coldplay - The Scientist
<br>The Rolling Stones - ''Waiting on a Friend''
<br>The Rolling Stones - Waiting on a Friend
<br>The Cure - ''Just Like Heaven'' [acoustic version]
<br>The Cure - Just like Heaven [accoustic version]
<br>(A brief snippet of Lemon Jelly - "Spacewalk" can be heard before Pulp)
<br>Pulp -  
<br>Pulp - ''Babies''
<br>feeder - Come back around
<br>Feeder - ''Come Back Around''
<br>The Doors - Soul Kitchen
<br>The Doors - ''Soul Kitchen''
<br>David Bowie - Slow Burn
<br>[[David Bowie]] - ''Slow Burn''
<br>Beck - lost cause
<br>Beck - ''Lost Cause''
<br>Stevie Wonder - Living for the City
<br>Stevie Wonder - ''Living for the City''
<br>Doves - Caught by the River
<br>Doves - ''Caught by the River''
<br>The Rolling Stones - Brown Sugar
<br>The Rolling Stones - ''Brown Sugar''
<br>Song for the Ladies: ''Sly and the Family Stone - If you want me to stay''
<br>[[Song For The Ladies]]: Sly and the Family Stone - ''If you want me to stay''
 
==Quotes==
 


==Rockbusters==
==Rockbusters==
Line 75: Line 77:
<br>4. Exploding Pet. <span title="Atomic Kitten" style="color: red" id=title>AK</span>
<br>4. Exploding Pet. <span title="Atomic Kitten" style="color: red" id=title>AK</span>


==Download==
==Quotes==
[http://www.savefile.com/files/8744759 12 October 2002]
'''Karl''': So I'm walking along, and everything's good. There's a woman feeding fish bread and I thought "That's different."<br><br>
'''Karl''': Fella comes walking toward me. Only got no pants on. So I said "Suzanne what's going on?"<br>
'''Ricky''':Why did he turn to her! Like she knows more than him!<br><br>
'''Steve''': Your criteria are so basic, it's weird. Hotel? Yes. Roof? Good. Food? Adequate. Beach? Clean. Next!<br><br>
'''Steve''': You're tuned to Xfm 104.9, Karl Pilkington's quiz Rockbusters. The format is still available to the highest bidder, please give us a call, or you could email on ricky-dot-gervais-at-xfm-dot-co-dot-uk...<br><br>
'''Ricky''': Play a record then! Do something! For Christ's sake!<br><br>
'''Karl''': Hairy Chinese Kid. Right while we talked about hairy people in the past... But the weird thing is, right, Chinese people aren't that hairy, as a nation. No seriously, that's a well known fact. They don't have much body hair and stuff. So this little kid who was born over there, he was like covered in the stuff. And it was only his nose that wasn't hairy, the rest of his body was caked in hair.<br><br>
'''Ricky''': Bloke from Manchester. Went a bit balder than the rest. Got a job on radio. He was normal.<br><br>
'''Karl''': You've got blue hands. Bad circulation. We're gonna send you home. We'll give you a Rubik's cube. Play around with that with your hands, get the blood pumpin'. And don't worry, don't say "Oh it's really bad." Just think, she's 98, let her have a nice rest of her life.
==External Links==
* [http://www.lowtax.net/lowtax/html/offon/spain/spncan.html Info on the Canary Islands]
* [http://youtube.com/watch?v=AYIrsvjO3c8 Alien Gives Man a Beard YouTube audio clip]
* [http://www.littlemanwhatnow.com/2006/07/hairy-chinese-kid.html The hairy Chinese kid]
 
{{Xfm Box}}
 


==See Also==
[[Category:Episode Pages|2.08]]
*[[Xfm Series 0]]
*[[Xfm Series 1]]
*[[Xfm Series 3]]
*[[Xfm Series 4]]

Latest revision as of 00:38, 2 August 2020

In addition to Karl talking about the Hairy Chinese Kid for the first time, this episode marks the birth of 'Strike It Ricky', 'Big Mother', 'The Rice is Right' , 'Fifteen Taiwan', 'Rockbusters', and 'Educating Ricky'. Also the (un)timely death of 'Strike it Ricky', 'Big Mother', 'The Rice is Right' and 'Fifteen Taiwan'.


Xfm Series 2
August 2002 - August 2003
List of episodes

Episodes:

  1. 24 August 2002 (Transcript)
  2. 31 August 2002 (Transcript)
  3. 07 September 2002 (Transcript)
  4. 14 September 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  5. 21 September 2002 (Transcript)
  6. 28 September 2002 (Transcript)
  7. 05 October 2002 (Transcript)
  8. 12 October 2002 (Transcript)
  9. 19 October 2002 (Transcript)
  10. 26 October 2002 (Transcript)
  11. 02 November 2002 (Transcript)
  12. 09 November 2002 (Transcript)
  13. 16 November 2002 (Transcript)
  14. 23 November 2002 (Transcript)
  15. 30 November 2002 (Transcript)
  16. 07 December 2002 (Transcript)
  17. 14 December 2002 (Transcript)
  18. 21 December 2002 (Transcript)
  19. 28 December 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  20. 04 January 2003 (Transcript)
  21. 11 January 2003 (Transcript)
  22. 18 January 2003 (Transcript)
  23. 25 January 2003 (Transcript)
  24. 01 February 2003 (Transcript)
  25. 08 February 2003 (Transcript)
  26. 15 February 2003 (Transcript)
  27. 22 February 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  28. 01 March 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  29. 08 March 2003 (Transcript)
  30. 15 March 2003 (Transcript)
  31. 22 March 2003 (Transcript)
  32. 29 March 2003 (Transcript)
  33. 05 April 2003 (Transcript)
  34. 12 April 2003 (Transcript)
  35. 19 April 2003 (Transcript)
  36. 26 April 2003 (Transcript)
  37. 03 May 2003 (Transcript)
  38. 10 May 2003 (Transcript)
  39. 17 May 2003 (Transcript)
  40. 31 May 2003 (Transcript)
  41. 07 June 2003 (Transcript)
  42. 14 June 2003 (Transcript)
  43. 21 June 2003 (Transcript)
  44. 28 June 2003
  45. 05 July 2003
  46. 12 July 2003
  47. 19 July 2003
  48. 26 July 2003
  49. 02 August 2003
  50. 09 August 2003
  51. 16 August 2003

Track Listing

For a full transcript of this episode see 12 October 2002/Transcript.

1. A Lung Feeling (0:00:00)

Karl's back from one week's holiday and another week away due to his father's illness. He didn't take his phone with him but he had a feeling something was wrong whilst he was away. Ricky's been criticised for his easy listening music of late so this week he's gonna rock out.

2. Basic Holiday Criteria (0:02:41)

Karl tells about the surprise trip his girlfriend had planned for them to one of the Canary Islands. Karl brought a book of short stories about special days of past and present. He started to get bored so they went to walk on the beach where they saw a woman feeding a fish bread and a fella with no pants on who was carrying a massive rucksack.

3. I'm Not One for Getting Me Kit Off (0:09:13)

Karl is confused by nudism. Steve asks if he ever walks around the house nude and he says only to get a glass of Robinson's in the night, but he has to be careful because his neighbours might see in.

4. Karl's New Ideas (0:12:20)

Karl's got some new ideas for the show. The best way of coming up with ideas is to nick a TV name and twist it ... how about Big Mother or The Rice is Right?

5. This Young Man Prepared For His Death (0:16:53)

Karl explains his brilliant new game called Rockbusters and gives the first clue to the first one. Call in to play and even win some prizes.

6. He Hasn't Thought It Through (0:20:23)

They need another ad break to figure out the rules of the game.

7. We Wouldn't Survive in the Real World (0:21:13)

Eighteen seconds of silence means there's something wrong in-studio and Karl needs to get an engineer in. Ricky's solution is to not play the adverts because he doesn't want to anyway.

8. Let's Play Rockbusters (0:21:45)

Sam and Tim are on the phone to play Rockbusters. Ricky explains the rules and Karl gives out the clues and thus the first Rockbusters game is played. Neither Ricky nor Steve are impressed.

9. Educating Ricky (0:26:23)

Karl is stressed and Steve's not sure Karl can press buttons and talk at the same time. Much slagging off of the studio and the library follows. Karl has yet another idea to propose, this time called Educating Ricky which has teaser titles, including "Hanging Bacon", "Hairy Chinese Kid", and "Alien Gives Man A Beard". Karl tells the alien-man-beard story to an incredulous Ricky and Steve. Also, there's a law in America that you can't touch a UFO.

10. Eczema and a Boil (0:33:19)

The engineers have sorted out the desk problems but it took 25 minutes to get to Ricky's show. Next for Educating Ricky is a story about a hairy Chinese kid. It's a well-known fact that Chinese people aren't very hairy so the press was hard on him but the doctors said he just had some eczema and a boil. Ricky and Steve still aren't impressed so Karl tries to wow them with his explanation of the phrase "chewing the fat".

11. That Song's Got a Good Story (0:41:40)

Karl's had a phone call confirming the story about the Chinese kid. Ricky tries to explain that they don't just believe things randomly, and Steve's theory is that Karl only believes things that are interesting. Discussion turns to the story behind the song "He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother" and after that the continuing segment "That Song's Got a Good Story". Kicking it off today with Stevie Wonder but Steve doesn't think the song can ever live up to Karl's explanation of it.

12. It'll Be Like Star Wars (0:47:00)

Karl hasn't played the full version of Living in the City because he didn't know it existed. So maybe next week they'll play the second bit.

13. Give Her a Rubik's Cube (0:47:57)

Ricky asks Karl to tell them about visiting his dad in hospital. They're dreadful places filled with people moaning (like nurses, says Ricky). There's an old woman in the bed next to him whose hands had gone blue who was breaking wind a lot. Karl thinks they should just let her go home and not worry her. This leads to the introduction of an all-time favourite Pilkington story: Auntie Nora farts for 5 minutes. Karl expounds on his theories about how rubbish it is to get old and have to die in hospital and Ricky plays another Stones track.

14. Call to Confirm (0:56:21)

Another call confirms that drugs do make people have wind, but no one has called to confirm the alien abduction. Ricky complains about the bad equipment again and Karl preps the listeners for next week's quizzes and games. Steve's been quite quiet for 20 minutes because he dozed off, but ends with Sly and the Family Stone for the ladies.

Playlist

The Strokes - Someday
AC/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long
The Coral - Dreaming of You
Led Zeppelin - Rock 'n Roll
Coldplay - The Scientist
The Rolling Stones - Waiting on a Friend
The Cure - Just Like Heaven [acoustic version]
(A brief snippet of Lemon Jelly - "Spacewalk" can be heard before Pulp)
Pulp - Babies
Feeder - Come Back Around
The Doors - Soul Kitchen
David Bowie - Slow Burn
Beck - Lost Cause
Stevie Wonder - Living for the City
Doves - Caught by the River
The Rolling Stones - Brown Sugar
Song For The Ladies: Sly and the Family Stone - If you want me to stay

Rockbusters

1. This young man prepared for his death. WY
2. Better than the average homeless person. S
3. The little girl is hungry. What shall we do? F
4. Exploding Pet. AK

Quotes

Karl: So I'm walking along, and everything's good. There's a woman feeding fish bread and I thought "That's different."

Karl: Fella comes walking toward me. Only got no pants on. So I said "Suzanne what's going on?"
Ricky:Why did he turn to her! Like she knows more than him!

Steve: Your criteria are so basic, it's weird. Hotel? Yes. Roof? Good. Food? Adequate. Beach? Clean. Next!

Steve: You're tuned to Xfm 104.9, Karl Pilkington's quiz Rockbusters. The format is still available to the highest bidder, please give us a call, or you could email on ricky-dot-gervais-at-xfm-dot-co-dot-uk...

Ricky: Play a record then! Do something! For Christ's sake!

Karl: Hairy Chinese Kid. Right while we talked about hairy people in the past... But the weird thing is, right, Chinese people aren't that hairy, as a nation. No seriously, that's a well known fact. They don't have much body hair and stuff. So this little kid who was born over there, he was like covered in the stuff. And it was only his nose that wasn't hairy, the rest of his body was caked in hair.

Ricky: Bloke from Manchester. Went a bit balder than the rest. Got a job on radio. He was normal.

Karl: You've got blue hands. Bad circulation. We're gonna send you home. We'll give you a Rubik's cube. Play around with that with your hands, get the blood pumpin'. And don't worry, don't say "Oh it's really bad." Just think, she's 98, let her have a nice rest of her life.

External Links

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Presenters Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Karl Pilkington
Others Claire Sturgess | Ian Camfield | Simon Pegg | Nick Frost
Features Monkey News | Rockbusters | Song For The Ladies | Song For The Lovers
Hip-Hop Hooray | Cheap as Chimps | White Van Karl | Songs of Phrase
Cheeky Freak of the Week | Do We Need 'Em? | More...