23 February 2002

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Xfm Series 1
November 2001 - May 2002
List of episodes

Episodes:

  1. 10 November 2001 (Transcript)
  2. 17 November 2001 (Transcript)
  3. 24 November 2001 (Transcript)
  4. 01 December 2001 (Transcript)
  5. 08 December 2001 (Transcript)
  6. 15 December 2001 (Transcript)
  7. 22 December 2001 (Transcript)
  8. 12 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.1
  9. 19 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.2
  10. 26 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.3
  11. 09 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.4
  12. 16 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.5
  13. 23 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.6
  14. 02 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.7
  15. 09 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.8
  16. 16 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.9
  17. 23 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.10
  18. 30 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.11
  19. 06 April 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.12
  20. 13 April 2002 (Transcript)
  21. 20 April 2002 (Transcript)
  22. 27 April 2002 (Transcript)
  23. 04 May 2002 (Transcript)

Track Listing

For a full transcript of this episode see 23 February 2002/Transcript

1. 9000 Points If They Cut Peter Stringfellow’s Hair (0:00:00)

The boys prepare us for the arrival of some posh lads, who are scavenging for charity, by analysing their challenges.

2. The Twat In The Hat (0:03:08)

We learn a little about Suzanne - she's a journalist, but not like a proper one, she's upset with Karl's new found fame as an 'idiot', this prompts Karl's telling of the Little Donkey story, the highs and lows of drumming at his school nativity play, including how to contact alien life forms with 'Oggy, Oggy, Oggy'.

3. What Were The Things In Gremlins?(0:09:23)

White Van Karl gets underway, Kylie Minogue would make a good looking old lady, increasing taxes to pay for the NHS is good, Karl wouldn't have worked in radio, if it weren't his dad being in hospital and the infamous Gremlins discussion takes place.

4. Skoe And Belch (0:14:20)

Trendy posh boys joins our heroes to discuss their scavenger hunt challenge and what kind of music they like - rubbish music, they give a big shout out to S Club 7, in the hopes of getting on stage with them, did they - we don't know or care.

5. Snakes Are Deaf

White Van Karl continues, Karl is pleased about the British Olympic gold medal for curling, but not the hype that's followed; the world's tallest man has just turned up in Neasden, he should get his tumour sorted according to Karl an d finally the British climate is changing, making it hospitable for more exotic wildlife, Karl is not pleased, he'd rather have bad weather and avoid deadly snakes.

6. Bad Lyrics By Good Artists

Steve thinks corny songs are preferable to pretentious twoddle, Ricky and Steve break down the plot of Enrique Iglesias' Hero video. Followed by adverts!!!!

7. It's That Point In The Show

Song For The Lovers Ricky introduces Jimmy Webb and his lovely arse. What?

8. They Just Wheel You Out

Steve hopes nu-metal fans can appreciate these classic songs, Karl tries to plug Ian Camfield's show - to the displeasure of Rick and Steve, Karl gets upset, Steve orders him to switch his microphone off and stop interrupting Ricky telling us about Camfield, he does, they forgive Karl, more ads!!!!

9. English Quite Good

Karl had trouble filling out a job application, misunderstanding the 'language' section, but he's making an effort, by nearly remembering the name of Slobodan Milosevic. We learn that Karl never got his GCSE exam results, he thinks he took English, Maths, Art and Physics, but can't remember it well and he doesn't believe in revision. What's bugging Karl, is how do you put down a snake? You can pick it up because it's deaf, but putting it down? Who knows. Back to academia and next week, on this very show, live on-air, we will find out Karl's exam results... oh yeah, he didn't collect them because he had to use gold ink in his printing job that day.


The book 'They Died Young' - about people that aren't really dead // Bruce Lee faked his death - working for the government in hong kong as undercover cop "if you're gonna use someone undercover in Hong Kong, I suggest using the most famous Chinaman of all time", "you look a bit like Bruce Lee" - "No I don't, see this moustache?" KP - "Not trying to offend anyone here, but they do all look the sa-" RG - "RIGHT! NO NO NO! ...I'm so sorry".

  • Hip Hop Hooray - Dilated Peoples give a shout out to Steve; Dilated Peoples - Worst Comes To Worst.

Is Elvis really dead?

Stars In Their Eyes - Ian Moore aka 'Chris de Burgh' / Steve claims he wrote Lady In Red to a music lawyer.

  • Song For the Lovers: Tom Waits - Ol' 55


Quotes

Playlist

  • Nirvana - Man Who Sold The World
  • Princess Superstar - Bad Babysitter
  • Ash - ?
  • Starsailor - Poor Misguided Fool
  • The Streets - Let's Push Things Forward
  • Lostprophets - Fake Sound of Progress
  • Gomez - Shot Shot
  • Song For The Lovers: Jimmy Webb - If These Walls Could Speak
  • The Cure - ?
  • PJ Harvey - ?
  • Hundred Reasons - If I Could
  • Hip-Hop Hooray: Dilated Peoples - Worst Comes To Worst
  • The Smiths - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out
  • Song For The Ladies: Tom Waits - Ol' 55

Download

Download Page

External Links

YouTube: Enrique Inglesias - Hero

Series 0   |   Series 1   |   Series 2   |   Series 3   |   Series 4
Presenters Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Karl Pilkington
Others Claire Sturgess | Ian Camfield | Simon Pegg | Nick Frost
Features Monkey News | Rockbusters | Song For The Ladies | Song For The Lovers
Hip-Hop Hooray | Cheap as Chimps | White Van Karl | Songs of Phrase
Cheeky Freak of the Week | Do We Need 'Em? | More...