Ricky Gervais Quotes By Date

On Humpty Dumpty

"Are there eggs readin that? Goin phwoargh am glad I didn't do that"

"I only know that he's an egg from pictorial evidence & he's clearly an egg...an egg thing...an egg with eyes & trousers. But that isn't mentioned in the whole thing. That'd be the FIRST thing I'd mention! I'd say 'Once right, there was an egg that could climb walls!"

"If your surname is Dumpty....DON'T CALL YOUR FIRST BORN HUMPTY! He's already an egg!"

"'Hows the baby? It's an egg..just an egg.' " 'O what you gonna call it?' 'Humpty Dumpty' 'Well don't make it worse..that is a windup that.Just call him johnny. Stick a blaclava over him. The worst he'll get is fatty Johnny. Humpty Dumpty the egg?! He's gonna get the piss ripped outta him..... Probably jumped off the wall!' "

- From Rickys standup show "Politics"

Brent on the Handicapped

"There are things that..uh..I would never laugh at The handicapped. Because there's nothing funny about them. Or any other deformity. It's like when you see someone look at a little handicapped & go 'Oh look at him, he's not able-bodied. I am. I'm prejudiced.' Yeah? Well at least the little handicapped fella is able-minded.....unless he's not. It's difficult to tell with the wheelchair ones."