02 November 2002

Xfm Series 2 August 2002 - August 2003 List of episodes

Episodes: 24 August 2002 (Transcript) 31 August 2002 (Transcript) 07 September 2002 (Transcript) 14 September 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of') 21 September 2002 (Transcript) 28 September 2002 (Transcript) 05 October 2002 (Transcript) 12 October 2002 (Transcript) 19 October 2002 (Transcript) 26 October 2002 (Transcript) 02 November 2002 (Transcript) 09 November 2002 (Transcript) 16 November 2002 (Transcript) 23 November 2002 (Transcript) 30 November 2002 (Transcript) 07 December 2002 (Transcript) 14 December 2002 (Transcript) 21 December 2002 (Transcript) 28 December 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of') 04 January 2003 (Transcript) 11 January 2003 (Transcript) 18 January 2003 (Transcript) 25 January 2003 (Transcript) 01 February 2003 (Transcript) 08 February 2003 (Transcript) 15 February 2003 (Transcript) 22 February 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of') 01 March 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of') 08 March 2003 (Transcript) 15 March 2003 (Transcript) 22 March 2003 (Transcript) 29 March 2003 (Transcript) 05 April 2003 (Transcript) 12 April 2003 (Transcript) 19 April 2003 (Transcript) 26 April 2003 (Transcript) 03 May 2003 (Transcript) 10 May 2003 (Transcript) 17 May 2003 (Transcript) 31 May 2003 (Transcript) 07 June 2003 (Transcript) 14 June 2003 (Transcript) 21 June 2003 (Transcript) 28 June 2003 05 July 2003 12 July 2003 19 July 2003 26 July 2003 02 August 2003 09 August 2003 16 August 2003

02 November 2002 features some laughter from Karl on air, the first time no listeners were able to correctly answer Rockbusters, Karl selling his futon and desk combo live on air for £100, and the first correspondence from Richard Anderson.

Track Listing

For a full transcript of this episode see 02 November 2002/Transcript

1. Ladies Boobs (0:00:00)

There's loads of stuff to come, and all the records. Steve's been house-hunting but what has Ricky himself planned? Ricky has a text from Ross Noble telling him to ask Karl what he would do if he awoke with ladies boobs. Karl claims if you go to Argentina and have a steak, you can wake up with breasts. Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather.

2. Selling a Futon (0:02:16)

Ricky bigs up the show to come and also Educating Ricky. Karl complains of the stresses of moving house, leading to him offering a table and futon to the listeners for £100. After Steve and Ricky comment that meeting Karl alone is worth £100, Karl becomes paranoid about meeting any purchasers at his house. Steve runs through the prizes for Rockbusters including, David Attenborough's "Life Of Birds" video, best of David Bowie CD compilation, a "Madness" DVD, a "Country Legends" compilation and this week's big DVD giveaway ... "Hellraiser".

3. Selling an Orthopedic Chair (0:09:27)

Karl's got an offer for the futon and table. Is it beech colored? Depends what beach you're on. This leads to Steve to telling the story of an orthopedic chair he bought, which he believes to have come from an old people's home that he's like to sell on radio as well.

4. I'm Not a Doctor or Anything (0:14:53)

Superstars is coming back on TV, and Karl instigates this week's discussion about Celebrity Fit Club. The "Bod Pod" measures body fat and Rik Waller has 60% body fat. Karl's theory is that the exercise makes him more hungry. Steve did get to the Springsteen concert and it was pure rock 'n roll. He couldn't find a cab home and was livid.

5. Meet Richard Anderson (0:20:05)

This week's Educating Ricky headlines are Don't Worry About Him - He Candle It, I'm Kermitted To This Treatment, and The Police Are Causing A Bit Of A Stare. Ricky and Steve choose the first, and Karl then tells them the history of the saying "burning the candle at both ends", which started literally ages ago when workers burnt a candle at both ends of the day. Steve reads out the first email sent by Richard Anderson.

6. Let's Look Through This Rubbish (0:24:52)

Xfm's a funny word. Steve and Ricky return to the e-mail after the break. Karl sympathises with Anderson, saying that the show is hard to listen to. Steve recalls how recently he dumped his old items outside and a family came to look through, and a homeless man took stuff to sell at his own car boot sale. Karl's has sold flowers and fizzy drinks and stolen prizes for give-aways at his childhood mobile disco.

7. Doin an O.B. (0:30:00)

A suggestion from listener Jeff Dunn is for Ricky and Steve do a live broadcast from Karl's flat. Karl rejects as they will "make a mess", "make loads of noise" annoying the woman downstairs and the "parking is really bad downstairs" culminating in Karl "not getting his deposit back". Karl wonders if that's how Graceland started, as it was Elvis' normal house at one point. Karl gives the Rockbusters clues amongst laughing.

8. Have You Heard The News Toad Day (0:36:02)

Ricky choses the 2nd Educating Ricky headline and Karl explains the origins of the expression "frog in your throat".

9. Counting My Feet (0:40:15)

Steve's mate Dave Greenwood has sent him another CD compilation of 4 discs this time. Dicky Anderson is back with another insult. Karl's annoyed by the fact that poisonous toad has to be licked for the poison to work. Don't slag off God.

10. Tap Their Eye With a Pen (0:46:40)

Ricky's put an elastic band around Karl's head, and info is coming in about the frog in the throat etymology. Educating Ricky finishes up with Karl's explanation of a man who was thought to be drunk but he only had a glass eye. Steve's going to email Richard Anderson to tell him he agrees. Songs With a Story this week is Lola by The Kinks.

11. Ban Gulls (0:48:14)

Karl discusses the story behind the song Lola. It's time for Rockbusters answers and this is the first time Karl has stumped the listeners (with his first clue). Steve selects a winner nonetheless - a man who's written a postscript which says "Karl, you're a moron". This week's Song For The Ladies is from Frente.

Quotes

Karl: It can happen. If you go to Argentina and have a steak, you can wake up with breasts.

Steve: You work pretty quick Karl, I must say. Your Manc scally ways.

Steve: Would you have booked a cab to go there?
Ricky: Yeah, I would have booked a cab.
Karl: Wouldn't the helicopter just take you back home?

Karl: Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back.

Rockbusters

I don't like them birds. They shouldn't be allowed in this area. B.
He doesn't like women yet he's got a couple of kids - that's a bit weird. P.D.
That bloke who does sport on telly, he's got a little kid. D.C.

Playlist

Foo Fighters - All My Life
The Velvet Underground - Venus In Furs
Richard Ashcroft - Check The Meaning
Bruce Springsteen - The Rising
Death In Vegas w/ Liam Gallagher - Scorpion Rising
Old Dirty Bastard - Baby I Gotcha Money
Aqualung - Good Times Gonna Come
Kansas - Carry On Wayward Son
Nirvana - You Know You're Right
Ben Kweller - In Other Words
Electric 6 - High Voltage
The Kinks - Lola
Song For The Ladies: Frente - Bizarre Love Triangle