Karlology Blog Weeks 6-7
Karl is annoyed with scientists again and he spends some time writing about worms and bees.
October 14th 2008
Scientists Messing about again
Cheers for sending the facts in for the ‘Learn Me Something’ part of the blog.
I read the one that someone sent about scientists who have mixed a jellyfish with a pig. Why do this? I thought it was odd when they mixed a Labrador with a poodle just for people who liked labradors but were not keen on their hair style, but pigs and jellyfish should never be mixed.
The end result was pigs that glow in the dark.
I don’t know if this is useful or not. I think foxes or badgers could do with it as they are always getting run over but pigs never go near main roads. I’m struggling to think of any advantages for a glow in the dark pig. Maybe it’s to make life easier for farmers now that we are back into dark winter mornings but other than that I can’t think why we would need them to glow. If anything it’ll just make fat people fatter as they’ll be attracted to a bacon sandwich like a moth is to a bulb.
If they are going to mess about mixing them together I’d say it might be worth adding a bit more of the pig to the jellyfish rather than jellyfish to the pig. I’ve never understood jellyfish. It’s a fact that jellyfish are 97% water and 3% stuff to keep the water in, which must be about the same makeup as a bottle of Evian. I was stung by one a few years ago as I didn’t see it coming, so If they could just make them oink I think that would be quite useful.
October 16th, 2008
WHAT I LEARNT TODAY
I will now just be updating the blog whenever I have something to tell you. I didn’t bother yesterday as the highlight of my day was changing the water filter. You have to filter the tap water when living in London as it has bits of stuff in it.
I’ve heard that the water I drink from the tap has been through another human body about six times, so the saying ”I’ll have what he had” has never been truer.
I don’t like not knowing who’s had the water before me either, they just say six bodies. Why am I getting it last everytime? Who’s getting first dibs on it?
And It’s not just old water I’m drinking, I’ve also heard that the air we breathe is the same air that Einstein, Jesus and Mother Theresa also breathed in. Weird how we only breathe air from nice kind people. Hitler must of had a private supply. It also worries me that the people they listed are all dead. Not the greatest advert for air is it.
Anyway, so that was yesterday. Done nothing special today either, just roamed around for a bit and had something to eat. I’ve got the same life as a dinosaur.
Except they had cleaner water and air.
October 21st, 2008
The weather was grim yesterday. It never stopped raining. I watched a worm and played a game of ‘which end is the head’.
I’ve been reading more of the facts you have sent in which include some stuff on worms. One fact said that there is a worm knocking about that has no mouth and doesn’t need to eat, and then there’s another one that said there’s a worm that has got a mouth and if it gets hungry and can’t find food it will eat itself. If I had to be one of them worms I don’t know which one I would chose.
I don’t think I’d like not having to eat. It’s one of my favourite things to do. For the same reason I wouldn’t like being one of them snakes that eats one big thing and then doesn’t eat for six months. Why do that, what else has it got to do? I saw one on the internet that had eaten a whole hippo in one gulp and it looked mental. It looked more like a hippo with a snake-skin jumpsuit on.
Of all the creatures, worms are the last thing that I thought would eat themselves. They haven’t got enough body parts as it is. A centipede or octopus, fair enough, they could afford to eat one of their legs if they were a bit peckish…. but a worm! No legs or feet, no mouth, no eyes and there’s me thinking the kid in the Pinball Wizard song had it tough.
I’ve heard that if you cut a worm in half, the half with the head survives. I don’t know why. With no eyes, mouth or ears the arse seems more useful than the head.
On top of all that, they only tend to come out when it’s raining. Worms have such a miserable life.
October 23rd, 2008
Not much to tell you about. I called me Mam and Dad earlier cos they’ve been looking after me Auntie Nora cos she had a problem with her knee (as you’ll know if you’ve read Karlology). Me Mam is glad to be back home though as she worries about Kes (her budgie). She gives it to their neighbour to look after when they’re away and she said it went a bit bald from stress last time she left it. She worries about that bird too much. Every night at 9pm she puts a tea towel, that’s got a map of Wales on it, over it’s cage so the brightness from the telly doesn’t keep it awake. Last time I was there she put the tea towel on the cage and sat down and then got up again to turn the tea towel over.
“What are you doing?” I said
“The tea towel isn’t facing the right way”
“What difference does it make?” I said
“Well if it isn’t tired yet, it can look at the map of Wales from it’s perch, and then if it ever escapes from it’s cage and goes outside, at least it’ll know it’s way back home”
It probably knows it’s way about the area more than me Mam does. They’ve lived in Wales for about seven years now and she still has to carry around a piece of paper with their address written on it in her handbag. Me Dad said she should stick the tea towel on her head.
Anyway, speaking of bald animals, here’s an image of a bald hedgehog that a bloke sent Ricky. I say a bloke, he’s a proper vet! A proper vet using one of his sick animals to make fun of my head.
Maybe me Auntie Nora’s doctor has taken a picture of her bald knee and is sticking an image of my face on it as we speak.
October 27th, 2008
MORE BEE NEWS
Woke up on Sunday morning to the news on the radio that said scientists have found that bees can count to four. I don’t know if this is useful for a bee or not. What can it do with that knowledge apart from singing the intro to most James Brown songs?
This is the problem with things constantly evolving, Bees will learn more numbers and end up spending less time on the jobs that they are here to do, like shifting pollen and making honey (which I think is more impressive than counting to four to be honest) and will want to do more interesting stuff. Like doing a sudoku.
Lynda Watson sent in this fact to the ‘Learn Me Something’ part of the blog.
“The Inuit/eskimo raise their eyebrows to say yes, and scrunch their noses to say no.” It’s mad to think basic communication skills like this are being used by humans, and yet we’ve got bees doing maths.