21 June 2003/Transcript: Difference between revisions

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==It Wasn't Even a Holiday==
==It Wasn't Even a Holiday==
{{Action|Song: The Darkness - I Believe in a Thing Called Love}}
{{Ricky|Well, there's The Darkness, they believe in a thing called love, Karl, do you? This is XFM 104.9. That is my favorite band at the moment.}}
{{Steve|You're lovin' 'em.}}
{{Ricky|I- I absolutely love them. I think they're funny. I think they're straight down the line with a little bit of tongue-in-cheek.}}
{{Steve|Mm.}}
{{Ricky|Ah, brilliant. Did you see them on Jools Holland last night?}}
{{Steve|I didn't, sadly, no.}}
{{Ricky|Brilliant.}}
{{Steve|Were they good?}}
{{Ricky|Absolutely- just- oh- I mean, Jools didn't know what to do.}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve Laughs}}
{{Steve|Was he playing some boogie woogie?}}
{{Ricky|He- They wouldn't let him play boogie woogie over their song.}}
{{Steve|Blimey.}}
{{Ricky|That's why, I mean, that's why he stayed back. But, uh-}}
{{Steve|I can't imagine it was very good then.}}
{{Ricky|He shook the- It was-}}
{{Steve|I'm surprised you said they were good.}}
{{Ricky|I thought- I thought, "Hold on. This is missing something."}}
{{Steve|Yeah.}}
{{Ricky|"This- this is missing someone from Squeeze vamping over them."}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve Laughs}}
{{Steve|Exactly, yeah.}}
{{Ricky|But, um, they did- they did well without him.}}
{{Steve|Extraordinary.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah.}}
{{Steve|Wow. Good luck to them.}}
{{Ricky|Here we are then, we're back. XFM 104.9. Karl had to leave early last week, but um, you- can you stay to the end this week, mate? Or-}}
{{Karl|Yeah.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah?}}
{{Steve|You don't need a- you don't need another holiday?}}
{{Act:Ricky|Ricky Laughs}}
{{Ricky|Ooh. Oh, he's started already.}}
{{Steve|I mean, you know-}}
{{Ricky|Steve's made you look like a bit of a twat already and it's only five past one.}}
{{Karl|But the only reason you don't go on holiday is 'cause you have to spend money!}}
{{Act:Ricky|Ricky Laughs}}
{{Ricky|Oh! And he's come straight back!}}
{{Steve|Well...}}
{{Ricky|He's come straight-}}
{{Act:Ricky|Ricky Laughs More}}
{{Steve|I can't come back to that. It's just-}}
{{Ricky|Oh dear.}}
{{Steve|It's just dynamite. It's just absolute- that was- that was- that was searing-}}
{{Ricky|Although the last holiday he- the last holiday Steve had- he, sort of, found a third world country so he could live like a king for a week. It was Cuba wasn't it?}}
{{Steve|Went to Cuba, amazing. You can live- you can almost rule the place.}}
{{Act:Ricky|Ricky Laughs}}
{{Steve|If it weren't for Castro I'd have been in charge the kind of cash I was flashing around. They'll do anything for a dollar over there. It's extraordinary. Literally. I mean, it's amazing.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah. Ohhh.}}
{{Steve|Definitely. And I went to Kenya before that.}}
{{Ricky|So he thought, the prostitute said no. You were gut-}}
{{Steve|Well, it was two dollars, I'm not made of money.}}
{{Act:Ricky|Ricky Laughs}}
{{Ricky|Did you have a good holiday, Karl?}}
{{Karl|Uhhhh. Yeah, it was alright. It was alright. Went down to Cornwall.}}
{{Steve|Now you were going to the monkey sanctuary.}}
{{Karl|Tell you what, there's some odd people down there, Steve.}}
{{Steve|Well, don't look at me, I'm not from Cornwall.}}
{{Karl|Well, you're from that, sort of, area.}}
{{Steve|Well, not really, but-}}
{{Ricky|Genetically, he means.}}
{{Steve|Right.}}
{{Karl|They're weird.}}
{{Steve|Mm, well, you must've slided right in.}}
{{Ricky|Why are they weird? What do they look like?}}
{{Karl|They're just all, sort of, uh, odd people. Uh, lot of old people but not just old, sort of, messed up old.}}
{{Ricky|What do you mean "messed up old"? Describe- you can't just say that. There's- there's-}}
{{Karl|There's a woman with a funny neck.}}
{{Act:Ricky|Ricky Laughs}}
{{Steve|Okay. In what way was it funny?}}
{{Ricky|What- why did she have a funny neck? If you were writing an essay you wouldn't say "there was this woman with a funny neck". How would you describe it?}}
{{Karl|She, uh, sort of, had her head pointed down all the time.}}
{{Act:Karl|Karl Imitates the Woman with the Funny Neck}}
{{Ricky|Don't do it! This is radio.}}
{{Karl|No, but, just for you, like that. Walkin' about like that.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah... okay... right. So, brilliant.}}
{{Karl|And I don't know- I was saying to Suzanne, "What happened? You know, what do you think?"}}
{{Ricky|'Cause Suzanne knows everything, that's the good thing about her being with you. You just ask her, "What happened to her?" and Suzanne goes, "Karl, I don't know. I haven't been here before.}}
{{Steve|Suzanne, your girlfriend, or "Mummy" as you call her.}}
{{Act:Ricky|Ricky Laughs}}
{{Ricky|Oh, sparks are flying.}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve imitating Karl}}
{{Steve|I got a little bit of choco, could you just lick a tissue and wipe it off?"}}
{{Karl|She said it might've been like 'cause back in the olden days they carried stuff on their-}}
{{Ricky|The olden days!}}
{{Act:Steve|Steve Laughs}}
{{Steve|What do you mean "the olden days"?}}
{{Ricky|This woman was probably what? 50?}}
{{Karl|Uh, no, she looked about 70.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah.}}
{{Karl|But like I do on Cheeky Freak of the Week, right, I always turn it 'round and we get, like, something good out of it.}}
{{Steve|Something positive, yeah.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah.}}
{{Karl|I said- I said to Suzanne, "I bet she finds a lot of money."}}
{{Act:Ricky|Ricky Laughs}}
{{Steve|Sure.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah.}}
{{Steve|Always starin' at the ground, yeah.}}
{{Ricky|Oh dear.}}
{{Karl|Which is always- which is always good.}}
{{Ricky|So, um, you're back-}}
{{Steve|Maybe she just had new shoes and she was admiring them.}}
{{Ricky|Yeah.}}
{{Steve|Did you think of that before you pointed a finger and judged?}}
{{Ricky|Or her necklace was too heavy.}}
{{Steve|Exactly.}}
{{Ricky|So, you're back, refreshed. So, uh, what have we got for this week? Have we- sort of- 'cause we didn't meet last night which, uh, we usually meet, sort of-}}


==Monkey Spotted Holidaying in Cornwall==
==Monkey Spotted Holidaying in Cornwall==

Revision as of 20:13, 9 June 2020

This is a transcription of the 21 June 2003 episode, from Xfm Series 2

It Wasn't Even a Holiday

Song: The Darkness - I Believe in a Thing Called Love

Ricky: Well, there's The Darkness, they believe in a thing called love, Karl, do you? This is XFM 104.9. That is my favorite band at the moment.

Steve: You're lovin' 'em.

Ricky: I- I absolutely love them. I think they're funny. I think they're straight down the line with a little bit of tongue-in-cheek.

Steve: Mm.

Ricky: Ah, brilliant. Did you see them on Jools Holland last night?

Steve: I didn't, sadly, no.

Ricky: Brilliant.

Steve: Were they good?

Ricky: Absolutely- just- oh- I mean, Jools didn't know what to do.

Steve Laughs

Steve: Was he playing some boogie woogie?

Ricky: He- They wouldn't let him play boogie woogie over their song.

Steve: Blimey.

Ricky: That's why, I mean, that's why he stayed back. But, uh-

Steve: I can't imagine it was very good then.

Ricky: He shook the- It was-

Steve: I'm surprised you said they were good.

Ricky: I thought- I thought, "Hold on. This is missing something."

Steve: Yeah.

Ricky: "This- this is missing someone from Squeeze vamping over them."

Steve Laughs

Steve: Exactly, yeah.

Ricky: But, um, they did- they did well without him.

Steve: Extraordinary.

Ricky: Yeah.

Steve: Wow. Good luck to them.

Ricky: Here we are then, we're back. XFM 104.9. Karl had to leave early last week, but um, you- can you stay to the end this week, mate? Or-

Karl: Yeah.

Ricky: Yeah?

Steve: You don't need a- you don't need another holiday?

Ricky Laughs

Ricky: Ooh. Oh, he's started already.

Steve: I mean, you know-

Ricky: Steve's made you look like a bit of a twat already and it's only five past one.

Karl: But the only reason you don't go on holiday is 'cause you have to spend money!

Ricky Laughs

Ricky: Oh! And he's come straight back!

Steve: Well...

Ricky: He's come straight-

Ricky Laughs More

Steve: I can't come back to that. It's just-

Ricky: Oh dear.

Steve: It's just dynamite. It's just absolute- that was- that was- that was searing-

Ricky: Although the last holiday he- the last holiday Steve had- he, sort of, found a third world country so he could live like a king for a week. It was Cuba wasn't it?

Steve: Went to Cuba, amazing. You can live- you can almost rule the place.

Ricky Laughs

Steve: If it weren't for Castro I'd have been in charge the kind of cash I was flashing around. They'll do anything for a dollar over there. It's extraordinary. Literally. I mean, it's amazing.

Ricky: Yeah. Ohhh.

Steve: Definitely. And I went to Kenya before that.

Ricky: So he thought, the prostitute said no. You were gut-

Steve: Well, it was two dollars, I'm not made of money.

Ricky Laughs

Ricky: Did you have a good holiday, Karl?

Karl: Uhhhh. Yeah, it was alright. It was alright. Went down to Cornwall.

Steve: Now you were going to the monkey sanctuary.

Karl: Tell you what, there's some odd people down there, Steve.

Steve: Well, don't look at me, I'm not from Cornwall.

Karl: Well, you're from that, sort of, area.

Steve: Well, not really, but-

Ricky: Genetically, he means.

Steve: Right.

Karl: They're weird.

Steve: Mm, well, you must've slided right in.

Ricky: Why are they weird? What do they look like?

Karl: They're just all, sort of, uh, odd people. Uh, lot of old people but not just old, sort of, messed up old.

Ricky: What do you mean "messed up old"? Describe- you can't just say that. There's- there's-

Karl: There's a woman with a funny neck.

Ricky Laughs

Steve: Okay. In what way was it funny?

Ricky: What- why did she have a funny neck? If you were writing an essay you wouldn't say "there was this woman with a funny neck". How would you describe it?

Karl: She, uh, sort of, had her head pointed down all the time.

Karl Imitates the Woman with the Funny Neck

Ricky: Don't do it! This is radio.

Karl: No, but, just for you, like that. Walkin' about like that.

Ricky: Yeah... okay... right. So, brilliant.

Karl: And I don't know- I was saying to Suzanne, "What happened? You know, what do you think?"

Ricky: 'Cause Suzanne knows everything, that's the good thing about her being with you. You just ask her, "What happened to her?" and Suzanne goes, "Karl, I don't know. I haven't been here before.

Steve: Suzanne, your girlfriend, or "Mummy" as you call her.

Ricky Laughs

Ricky: Oh, sparks are flying.

Steve imitating Karl

Steve: I got a little bit of choco, could you just lick a tissue and wipe it off?"

Karl: She said it might've been like 'cause back in the olden days they carried stuff on their-

Ricky: The olden days!

Steve Laughs

Steve: What do you mean "the olden days"?

Ricky: This woman was probably what? 50?

Karl: Uh, no, she looked about 70.

Ricky: Yeah.

Karl: But like I do on Cheeky Freak of the Week, right, I always turn it 'round and we get, like, something good out of it.

Steve: Something positive, yeah.

Ricky: Yeah.

Karl: I said- I said to Suzanne, "I bet she finds a lot of money."

Ricky Laughs

Steve: Sure.

Ricky: Yeah.

Steve: Always starin' at the ground, yeah.

Ricky: Oh dear.

Karl: Which is always- which is always good.

Ricky: So, um, you're back-

Steve: Maybe she just had new shoes and she was admiring them.

Ricky: Yeah.

Steve: Did you think of that before you pointed a finger and judged?

Ricky: Or her necklace was too heavy.

Steve: Exactly.

Ricky: So, you're back, refreshed. So, uh, what have we got for this week? Have we- sort of- 'cause we didn't meet last night which, uh, we usually meet, sort of-


Monkey Spotted Holidaying in Cornwall

Karl: ...We went to this place right me mam and had been there before and said "you'll love it, It's brilliant. It's got like er... a war bit in it."

Steve: A war bit? Right.

Karl: Yeah like, because they know I'm into tanks and stuff. Said "you'll be loving that".

Ricky: S-Sorry I didn't know you were into tanks.

Steve: No.

Karl: Well... They're alright.


Build A Big Horse, Hide Inside It

Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts

I Love Your Family

Unlikely Lust Objects

Is She a Swinger?

Apparently She Cried When She Finished the Last One

The Worst You've Ever Done

Had To Thump It In the Head