21 June 2003/Transcript: Difference between revisions
Line 109: | Line 109: | ||
{{Steve|Exactly.}} | {{Steve|Exactly.}} | ||
{{Ricky|So, you're back, refreshed. So, uh, what have we got for this week? Have we- sort of- 'cause we didn't meet last night which, uh, we usually meet, sort of-}} | {{Ricky|So, you're back, refreshed. So, uh, what have we got for this week? Have we- sort of- 'cause we didn't meet last night which, uh, we usually meet, sort of-}} | ||
{{Karl|No, I called you and said it'd be good if we could. I- you know, I wasn't getting back into London 'til half past 7.}} | |||
{{Ricky|Well, I was up for it. I was up for it. Yeah.}} | |||
{{Karl|Yeah, but we all need to be there.}} | |||
{{Ricky|Yeah.}} | |||
{{Karl|It's no good just me and you being there.}} | |||
{{Ricky|Yeah, so... yeah.}} | |||
{{Steve|No, you're right. I mean, you're absolutely right that I wasn't there, yeah, 'cause I wasn't willing to, uh, just be governed by your particular schedule. You want to JET back in from another of your holidays-}} | |||
{{Karl|Right, it wasn't a holiday.}} | |||
{{Steve|At 8 o'clock.}} | |||
{{Karl|Wasn't a holiday.}} | |||
{{Steve|What? So what- you were out of town-}} | |||
{{Ricky|What do you mean? Hold on. Whoa whoa. What do you mean it wasn't a holiday? What was it?}} | |||
{{Karl|It was a- well, it was a treat, wasn't it? For me mam and dad. So, it wasn't a holiday.}} | |||
{{Ricky|What? So, you didn't enjoy the five days off? You'd rather have been here moaning eight hours a day? Seven hours a day...}} | |||
{{Steve|You see, we said last week that you're always whinging. Here you are whinging now.}} | |||
{{Karl|I'm not moaning.}} | |||
{{Ricky|And you're saying it's not even a holiday. You're saying it's not even a holiday. What was it then?}} | |||
{{Karl|Alright, would, like, a nurse who takes sick children to Florida, would they say "having a great holiday"?}} | |||
{{Ricky|Sorry. What- what- what particular ailment do your parents have for the week that they had to fly in Karl Pilkington M.D.?}} | |||
==Monkey Spotted Holidaying in Cornwall== | ==Monkey Spotted Holidaying in Cornwall== |
Revision as of 00:31, 10 June 2020
This is a transcription of the 21 June 2003 episode, from Xfm Series 2
It Wasn't Even a Holiday
Song: The Darkness - I Believe in a Thing Called Love
Ricky: Well, there's The Darkness, they believe in a thing called love, Karl, do you? This is XFM 104.9. That is my favorite band at the moment.
Steve: You're lovin' 'em.
Ricky: I- I absolutely love them. I think they're funny. I think they're straight down the line with a little bit of tongue-in-cheek.
Steve: Mm.
Ricky: Ah, brilliant. Did you see them on Jools Holland last night?
Steve: I didn't, sadly, no.
Ricky: Brilliant.
Steve: Were they good?
Ricky: Absolutely- just- oh- I mean, Jools didn't know what to do.
Steve Laughs
Steve: Was he playing some boogie woogie?
Ricky: He- They wouldn't let him play boogie woogie over their song.
Steve: Blimey.
Ricky: That's why, I mean, that's why he stayed back. But, uh-
Steve: I can't imagine it was very good then.
Ricky: He shook the- It was-
Steve: I'm surprised you said they were good.
Ricky: I thought- I thought, "Hold on. This is missing something."
Steve: Yeah.
Ricky: "This- this is missing someone from Squeeze vamping over them."
Steve Laughs
Steve: Exactly, yeah.
Ricky: But, um, they did- they did well without him.
Steve: Extraordinary.
Ricky: Yeah.
Steve: Wow. Good luck to them.
Ricky: Here we are then, we're back. XFM 104.9. Karl had to leave early last week, but um, you- can you stay to the end this week, mate? Or-
Karl: Yeah.
Ricky: Yeah?
Steve: You don't need a- you don't need another holiday?
Ricky Laughs
Ricky: Ooh. Oh, he's started already.
Steve: I mean, you know-
Ricky: Steve's made you look like a bit of a twat already and it's only five past one.
Karl: But the only reason you don't go on holiday is 'cause you have to spend money!
Ricky Laughs
Ricky: Oh! And he's come straight back!
Steve: Well...
Ricky: He's come straight-
Ricky Laughs More
Steve: I can't come back to that. It's just-
Ricky: Oh dear.
Steve: It's just dynamite. It's just absolute- that was- that was- that was searing-
Ricky: Although the last holiday he- the last holiday Steve had- he, sort of, found a third world country so he could live like a king for a week. It was Cuba wasn't it?
Steve: Went to Cuba, amazing. You can live- you can almost rule the place.
Ricky Laughs
Steve: If it weren't for Castro I'd have been in charge the kind of cash I was flashing around. They'll do anything for a dollar over there. It's extraordinary. Literally. I mean, it's amazing.
Ricky: Yeah. Ohhh.
Steve: Definitely. And I went to Kenya before that.
Ricky: So he thought, the prostitute said no. You were gut-
Steve: Well, it was two dollars, I'm not made of money.
Ricky Laughs
Ricky: Did you have a good holiday, Karl?
Karl: Uhhhh. Yeah, it was alright. It was alright. Went down to Cornwall.
Steve: Now you were going to the monkey sanctuary.
Karl: Tell you what, there's some odd people down there, Steve.
Steve: Well, don't look at me, I'm not from Cornwall.
Karl: Well, you're from that, sort of, area.
Steve: Well, not really, but-
Ricky: Genetically, he means.
Steve: Right.
Karl: They're weird.
Steve: Mm, well, you must've slided right in.
Ricky: Why are they weird? What do they look like?
Karl: They're just all, sort of, uh, odd people. Uh, lot of old people but not just old, sort of, messed up old.
Ricky: What do you mean "messed up old"? Describe- you can't just say that. There's- there's-
Karl: There's a woman with a funny neck.
Ricky Laughs
Steve: Okay. In what way was it funny?
Ricky: What- why did she have a funny neck? If you were writing an essay you wouldn't say "there was this woman with a funny neck". How would you describe it?
Karl: She, uh, sort of, had her head pointed down all the time.
Karl Imitates the Woman with the Funny Neck
Ricky: Don't do it! This is radio.
Karl: No, but, just for you, like that. Walkin' about like that.
Ricky: Yeah... okay... right. So, brilliant.
Karl: And I don't know- I was saying to Suzanne, "What happened? You know, what do you think?"
Ricky: 'Cause Suzanne knows everything, that's the good thing about her being with you. You just ask her, "What happened to her?" and Suzanne goes, "Karl, I don't know. I haven't been here before.
Steve: Suzanne, your girlfriend, or "Mummy" as you call her.
Ricky Laughs
Ricky: Oh, sparks are flying.
Steve imitating Karl
Steve: I got a little bit of choco, could you just lick a tissue and wipe it off?"
Karl: She said it might've been like 'cause back in the olden days they carried stuff on their-
Ricky: The olden days!
Steve Laughs
Steve: What do you mean "the olden days"?
Ricky: This woman was probably what? 50?
Karl: Uh, no, she looked about 70.
Ricky: Yeah.
Karl: But like I do on Cheeky Freak of the Week, right, I always turn it 'round and we get, like, something good out of it.
Steve: Something positive, yeah.
Ricky: Yeah.
Karl: I said- I said to Suzanne, "I bet she finds a lot of money."
Ricky Laughs
Steve: Sure.
Ricky: Yeah.
Steve: Always starin' at the ground, yeah.
Ricky: Oh dear.
Karl: Which is always- which is always good.
Ricky: So, um, you're back-
Steve: Maybe she just had new shoes and she was admiring them.
Ricky: Yeah.
Steve: Did you think of that before you pointed a finger and judged?
Ricky: Or her necklace was too heavy.
Steve: Exactly.
Ricky: So, you're back, refreshed. So, uh, what have we got for this week? Have we- sort of- 'cause we didn't meet last night which, uh, we usually meet, sort of-
Karl: No, I called you and said it'd be good if we could. I- you know, I wasn't getting back into London 'til half past 7.
Ricky: Well, I was up for it. I was up for it. Yeah.
Karl: Yeah, but we all need to be there.
Ricky: Yeah.
Karl: It's no good just me and you being there.
Ricky: Yeah, so... yeah.
Steve: No, you're right. I mean, you're absolutely right that I wasn't there, yeah, 'cause I wasn't willing to, uh, just be governed by your particular schedule. You want to JET back in from another of your holidays-
Karl: Right, it wasn't a holiday.
Steve: At 8 o'clock.
Karl: Wasn't a holiday.
Steve: What? So what- you were out of town-
Ricky: What do you mean? Hold on. Whoa whoa. What do you mean it wasn't a holiday? What was it?
Karl: It was a- well, it was a treat, wasn't it? For me mam and dad. So, it wasn't a holiday.
Ricky: What? So, you didn't enjoy the five days off? You'd rather have been here moaning eight hours a day? Seven hours a day...
Steve: You see, we said last week that you're always whinging. Here you are whinging now.
Karl: I'm not moaning.
Ricky: And you're saying it's not even a holiday. You're saying it's not even a holiday. What was it then?
Karl: Alright, would, like, a nurse who takes sick children to Florida, would they say "having a great holiday"?
Ricky: Sorry. What- what- what particular ailment do your parents have for the week that they had to fly in Karl Pilkington M.D.?
Monkey Spotted Holidaying in Cornwall
Karl: ...We went to this place right me mam and had been there before and said "you'll love it, It's brilliant. It's got like er... a war bit in it."
Steve: A war bit? Right.
Karl: Yeah like, because they know I'm into tanks and stuff. Said "you'll be loving that".
Ricky: S-Sorry I didn't know you were into tanks.
Steve: No.
Karl: Well... They're alright.