Steve's Grandparents

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Steve's Grandparents were frequently the subject of Steve's anecdotes during the Xfm Shows. The majority of Steve's stories revolve around the fact that they are quite old and remain in bed all day. Steve speaks of his grandparents with great affection and describes them as 'wonderful people'.


Steve has many anecdotes as well as smaller tidbits of information about his grandparents which he has mentioned frequently over the years, on Xfm. These are the most notable characteristics of/stories about Steve's grandparents:

  • Steve said in a 1998 episode that his grandmother's name is Irene, but his grandfather calls her Joan. She told him her name was Joan when they first met and didn't reveal the truth until eight days before they got married. According to Steve, her reason for this was that "you can never be too careful."
  • Steve claims that for several years it's been like "they're waiting to die."
  • According to Steve, they have about 6 teeth between them. His grandfather, many years ago, had an artificial palate and false teeth put in but over the years they too have become worn and started falling out, so now "he has a set of false teeth, that make him look like he needs false teeth."
  • They are bed-ridden more or less all day. If they need to prepare food, they will get up and put it in the oven, before promptly returning to bed.
  • Because of their issues with teeth (or lack there of), Steve has often described his grandparents' unusual and often nauseating methods of food preparation. The majority of meals are mashed or liquidised to the point where they could almost be sucked through a straw. Getting the food to this point often means over-cooking it in the oven. Steve claims that the best compliment you could pay his grandparents when having a meal at their house is "what a lovely meal, you could suck it away!"
  • Steve recalls one Christmas where his grandmother asked his father what he wanted for Christmas, to which Steve's father replied "a winter coat." Steve's grandmother said not to worry as his father (Steve's grandfather) would be dead soon and he could have his. Steve's dad is annoyed, as he is still waiting.
  • In late 2003, Steve recalled that his parents were planning on buying his grandparents a digital radio for Christmas so they could listen to Steve and Ricky's show on Xfm (which is based in London) from their home in Bristol. Steve expressed some embarrassment when he realised he and Ricky had spent the majority of the show discussing homosexuality and Steve accidentally stumbling upon a "cottage" as well as Ricky implying that he had no choice but to "join in".