The Ricky Gervais Guide To... The Future

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The Ricky Gervais Guide To...
Series Two
Episode List


  1. Guide to... Society
  2. Guide to... Law and Order
  3. Guide to... The Future
  4. Guide to... The Human Body
  5. Guide to... The Earth

The Ricky Gervais Guide To ...The Future is the third audiobook in the second season of the Guide To... series.

Track Listing

1. Introductions (0:00)

The Show's Album Art

Ricky starts by recounting a famous quote before introducing himself, Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington, with the usual effects.

2. 75 Years From Now (0:21)

Ricky starts by taxing Karl's brain about what will happen 75 years from now in the future. It will no longer matter what gender you are; a man or a woman could be the bread winner. Karl counters this with a theory he heard that said that the population would become more ugly, as a result, people will not have as many relationships, therefore not as many children will be born. Ricky and Steve attempt to tell Karl how his theory does not work. Karl believes that we are now better looking then we were in the 1950s, unable to understand that only fashion and society's perception of beauty have changed. Karl goes on to say that recently he has been watching his little finger and it is doing nothing, and will therefore in 75 years time be gone. Ricky tries to explain that evolution does not happen this quickly.

3. Technology Integration (6:50)

Steve starts talking about how the advances of technology in the future are fascinating, how people will be able to access the internet from inside their own minds. Within seconds Karl takes it too far and suddenly wonders about how the computer will know more then humans. Karl worries that he would only use a chip in his head that links him to the internet rather than his brain, so he isn't himself any more. Ricky explains how the human brain is incredible and how people are responsible for putting that information on Google. Ricky recounts when he played an animal parlour games with Karl where he had to say an animal starting with the letter 'E.' Karl panicked because he could not think of one so he said, "Egg."

4. Filling Your Head With Stuff (11:35)

Karl believes that the eyes are getting weaker over time when people are reading too much, his evidence for this is glasses, which he believes is definite proof. He knows that there is a 'snobbery' to education and that getting one question right about a subject on a game show is better than getting 40 right about Coronation Street. Ricky and Steve agree with Karl.

5. Pop On The Sat Nav (17:00)

Karl goes on to explain about the theoretical life of a baby who at the age of 2 gets a chip planted into his head that makes him want to grow up to be a plumber. Karl thinks that satellite navigation is lazy and prefers to find his own way. Ricky then tries to tell Karl that it is simply easier then using an A-Z and is safer then flipping through the book when you are driving. Karl tries to get his point across by talking about the times when he got lost and found new and interesting places, like a café or fancy dress shop.

6. Karl's Predictions Of The Future (21:40)

Ricky asks Karl to come up with five ideas that he think will happen in the future. He hopes that someday people will find these inscribed on a museum wall:

1: "Trousers are gonna stop being made" ; Karl reckons that trousers are getting lower and lower and you can see peoples underpants and this is their way of evolving.
2: "We're gonna get weaker" ; Karl thinks this has already happened as the phrase, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," was used in the past and now people are telling you to eat five fruits and vegetables a day.
3: "We'll blend all our food" ; People are becoming lazier and people want foods to be soft and easy to eat. Chewing is a thing of the past.
4: "Glasses that let you live where you want to live" ; When looking through these glasses real world items look different to incorporate what you want to see.
5: "More letters in the alphabet" ; According to Karl we are running out of words, which Ricky dismisses as nonsense.

7. Final Day (29:30)

Steve starts talking about what would happen on the last day of the planet. He thinks he would go mental; perhaps smash a bar or kill a person simply because there are no consequences. Ricky says he would not be able to do this as he would find it hard to challenge his morality. Karl says he has always wanted to kick a duck up the arse.

8. Don't Worry about the Chaos Theory (32:00)

Ricky goes on to ask Karl about when he would travel in time if it were possible, but Karl interrupts him. It turns out Karl does not believe in the Chaos Theory; he does not think that one small event would change the future. He imposes that if a butterfly was meant to fly into a car and accidentally cause a crash, he would just replace it with a wasp.

9. Karl used to have Hair (35:00)

Ricky, Steve and Karl compare the ways they imagined themselves in the future and how they eventually turned out, unfortunately for Steve, he did not fare well. Karl tells them he did not have any hopes or dreams of the future until he was a teenager, so he started doing boxing and dancing, neither of which lasted long. Karl says that nobody should ever have any hopes for the future as they will be disappointed if they do not achieve these goals, saying people should just wait and see what happens. Steve then ridicules Karl because he does not want it to affect the mind of every young person listening to the audio book.

10. The X-Ray Factor (45:05)

Ricky and Karl come up with an idea for a show called The X-Ray Factor. People who are on the waiting list for certain operations can have a chance to come on stage on a Saturday night, in front of all the cameras, to have the operation performed by a complete novice. For the finale Karl planned a heart transplant. Ricky thinks it is stupid that everybody wants to be a doctor. Karl wishes he had a dream of being a doctor when he was younger, but now thinks it is too late for that to ever happen.

11. Next Up: Guide To... The Human Body (51:30)

Ricky wraps up the audio book, declaring the next one will be entitled "The Ricky Gervais Guide To... The Human Body"



Karl "I've been watching my little finger"

Steve "It's not that Google is now Karl"

Ricky "He's annoyed at the Sat Nav"

Karl "They used to say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, now they say eat 5"

Karl "I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse"


See Also

External Links

Series 1 | Series 2 | Series 3 | Series 5
The Podfather | Video Podcasts | Other Podcasts... | Guide To...
Presenters Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Karl Pilkington
Features Monkey News | Rockbusters | Karl's Diary | All...