Series 2 Episode 4
- Disclaimer: This summary is not intended as a substitute or replacement for this podcast or material such as The World of Karl Pilkington, rather it is intended as an archive for reference on its content and information surrounding it.
Podcast Series 2
The listeners try to defend Karl, Ricky reads animal facts that are meant to fascinate Karl, but end up annoying him, and Steve tells a classic anecdote about trying to impress a lady. Plus more from Karl’s Diary and Rockbusters, but still no Monkey News.
1. Poisonous Frogs (00:00)
Many people have emailed in to try and get Ricky and Steve to stop bullying Karl and calling him stupid. Ricky has found some animal facts for Karl that he hopes will fascinate him. He first tells him about a frog that has enough poison to kill 1000 humans. Karl wonders why it needs that much power.
2. Fluffy and Pavlov (5:16)
Ricky tries to explain basics of evolution to Karl, but Karl refuses to accept that a slug is as evolved as a human. Karl thinks that if we keep treating animals like humans they will become more human. He talks about a poodle called Fluffy that his gran left his family when she died. His gran treated it like a human, but within a month of living with the Pilkingtons it was a wreak; getting hit by a car and then walking like a crab. Karl then tries to explain Pavlovian conditioning; the bloke kept hitting the dog on the head with a stick until the dog went, “I’m sick of this.” Ricky would love to hear Karl summarize great theories as a means of educating Karl.
3. Advice for Chameleons (10:24)
Ricky shares another interesting fact about blind chameleons that can still change colour to match their surroundings. Karl wonders what would happen if you put one on a mirror. Again, he questions if it needs that skill. He thinks that camouflage only encourages the chameleon to venture outside of the woods into danger. Ricky then tells him that a turkey only whistles when it panics. Karl still can’t get over the frog that can kill 1000 people. He thinks if it’s in that much danger it should just move.
4. Multiple Dimensions (13:03)
Someone has emailed in to ask Karl what he thinks about multiple dimensions where every possible variation can exist. He thinks that weird things in this dimension belong in a different one where they are more normal, like The Elephant Man. All three agree that the discussion is too academic. Ricky compares it to a philosophy student who goes to the student union after his first lecture to tell everyone that the table is not there. Then his beret falls off.
5. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (17:18)
Steve agrees that philosophy is not a great chat-up line for the ladies. He then recounts an anecdote from when he was doing a school play. He tried to impress a lady with his intellect by sitting in an empty room reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. He sat there for an hour and a half then she came in to ask him where Martin Wells was. Steve finally left the room and found her getting off with Martin Wells because he had been dancing with no trousers on. In front of this same girl, Steve mistakenly thought that joss sticks were some sort of drug, so when someone lit some, he started to act like he was getting high. Someone had to explain that they were not drugs but incense.
6. Embarrassing Toilet Story (20:16)
At another party, Steve went to the bathroom and went “number 2” and then discovered there was no toilet paper. He couldn’t get anyone to hear him so he had to shout out of the window to get someone to bring him some. He wished he had Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance then.
7. The Pilkington Cats (21:16)
Steve reads from Karl’s Diary. Since Suzanne was “being a pain with her illness,” she let him have the day to do what he wanted. While they were out, a bird shat on her and she got annoyed. A bird shat on Karl’s ear one time and he just left it there. Another Pilkington cat had to be put down because it lost both its eyes in fights. Ricky and Steve don’t think the Pilkingtons should have any more cats. Karl heard about a bloke in China who doesn’t show up in photos, Ricky is having none of it. Karl wonders why blind people have affairs. Suzanne had a birthday, which annoyed Karl, and he got her a posh badge. Karl remembers when his Auntie Nora got him a shirt with her face on it. Karl has heard about a place where people walk on all fours.
8. They’re Cryptic (30:30)
Karl reads out the answers to the previous week’s Rockbusters. Ricky and Steve question whether Karl understands the word cryptic. Karl then gives out this week’s clues.
I went to the restaurant on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday (Saturday and Sunday if you want), and the fella making the food was there each time. SC.
Go into that woman’s store and rip her off. C.
You've had a go at laying down a track, but it ain't perfect. E.
Karl: Who’s gonna eat it?
Ricky: Things that eat frogs.
Steve: The French.
Karl: At no point am I gonna lick a little frog’s head.
Ricky: We stick it in the cage and feed it a cricket now and again. How is that like one of the family?
Steve: It is in Karl’s family.
Karl: Stay green, right, stay in the woods, and stay safe.
Steve: This was before the bowtie phase.
- A brilliant animation by Pilkipedia's own neil.wood of the Martin Wells anecdote can be seen here on Youtube
- Link to the news story Karl referenced about a Chinese man who does not show up in photographs.
Episode available for purchase via iTunes or Amazon (via The Pilkipedia Shop)
Do not inquire about free downloads.
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