Series 1 Episode 1
- Disclaimer: This summary is not intended as a substitute or replacement for this podcast or material such as The World of Karl Pilkington, rather it is intended as an archive for reference on its content and information surrounding it.
Podcast Series 1
The boys embark on the first episode of their strange journey, peddling Karl to the rest of the world.
1. A New Beginning... (0:00)
The Guardian Unlimited jingle plays and Ricky reintroduces the gang for the first time in a new format that would put podcasting on the map. Karl's head is discussed before it is probed. Ricky compares Karl to Bod.
2. The Rectangle of Life (1:45)
Karl discusses his view on the iPod, podcasting, and new inventions (do we need 'em?). Ricky compares Karl to a thawed-out caveman. Karl casts doubt on traveling to places where you need injections, but Steve's not having it. The topic of disease moves onto death, and Karl suggests inventing a new lifecycle - the Apple Pip Reproduction Theory. Rather than dying, Gladys would live to 78, then, like an apple, a new baby is born. This bewilders Ricky and Steve who find it to be equivalent to the ramblings of a madman, written in shit on a wall.
3. Dinosaur Times (9:36)
Despite this, Karl believes the human body can change. He speaks of a new sense knocking about (beyond the usual "six"<ref name="senses">Traditionally, there are said to be five senses, though there are now considered to be many more.</ref>) that allows people to feel people are looking at them. The sense comes from when caveman and dinosaur were knockin' around. Ricky and Steve correct Karl and tell him dinosaur and man only co-exist in Raquel Welch films (One Million Years B.C.) and The Flintstones. Ricky further demolishes Karl's "crossover point" theory by questioning when Hitler met Nero and Ken Dodd meeting Genghis Khan.
4. No Ads (12:40)
5. Moon Monkey (13:44)
Ricky introduces the regular feature, "Monkey News". Steve cues the jingle and Ricky obliges. Karl begins to speak of the first "thing" in space -- Armstrong gets the glory, but there was a monkey first (Note: His actual name was Ham). Laika the dog is mentioned, but Karl dismisses it. The banana dispenser is explained in full. Karl parries all of Steve and Ricky's initial inquiries and moves on. After the monkey launches the rocket, he begins his journey into space. The mission is accomplished and he reverses back to Earth. The celebration is short-lived, because the monkey was never able to return to space, grew despondent (as evidenced by its demeanour) and eventually killed itself. Ricky dismisses all of this as absolute bollocks.
6. Vampire Pirate (19:40)
Karl brings up a story about a vampire he found in the paper. Ricky concludes it was a vampire pirate since it had a knife in its mouth. Karl still believes the story because someone took the heart, blended it, burned it, popped it in some water, drank it and went to prison because of it.
7. Haunted Tankard (21:15)
Karl met Derek Acorah who told Karl some "weird stuff". A
mug tankard was knocking about in a pub, but everyone who touches it died. When a vicar came in to fix the problem with holy water, he died on the way home. Weird innit? Ricky is not convinced since he believes in logic and the laws of the universe. Karl tries to challenge Ricky on more spooky stuff, but fails.
8. Trusting Fly (24:50)
Karl then talks about his mate house-sitting in a large stately home, which is essentially abandoned. After setting up the premise, Karl goes into when he was in this mansion, which apparently was a mental institution and drug rehab facility. Looking around in different rooms, he comes across two things. One room contains a shelf with thousands of dead flies and a condom. Another room contained a baby crib with a shopping list which has been cut short with the announcement of the baby's death. The point is lost on Steve.
9. Contractually Obliged (30:30)
The show concludes with an e-mail contact announcement and a thank you to The Guardian and Positive Internet.
Steve: Wait a minute, nature. Pop that on hold, cuz Karl Pilkington's got an idea.
Karl: "Hit the left button."
Ricky: The left button! LEFT!
Steve: She had like a woolly mammoth bikini. Fact.
Ricky: OH! Chimpanzee that! Monkey News.
Karl: Alright. What we're doing here is, uh, just givin' you a bit of monkey news that's gone on.
Karl: So I wandered over, looked close, and somebody had wroted... uh.
- Ricky compares Karl to a caveman twice in this episode. Approximately 30 months later, Ricky cast Karl as a caveman in a cameo role in The Invention of Lying.
- Karl's line about not wanting to have to go to countries that call for immunization prior to travel was repeated at least once by Ricky, notably in a Red Nose Day video from 2007.
- Video Podcast 7 Karl in the mansion
- Monkey News: Space Monkey Animation 1 from CatfoodStinksABit
- Monkey News: Space Monkey Animation 2 from tehste
- The sense of being stared at
Episode available for purchase via iTunes or Amazon (via The Pilkipedia Shop)
Do not inquire about free downloads.
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