Series 1 Episode 4
- Disclaimer: This summary is not intended as a substitute or replacement for this podcast or material such as The World of Karl Pilkington, rather it is intended as an archive for reference on its content and information surrounding it.
Podcast Series 1
It's the last show of 2005 and the gang discusses Christmas, gifts, spacemen and more. Karl gives some of his most infamous quotes, including "bungled in" and "Chinese Homeless Fella".
1. Englishgoat in Africa (0:00)
Ricky does some quick intros and asks how Christmas was. Steve's friend gave a charity gift for Christmas. The charity would give a goat to an African family for the gift. Steve turns to Karl for his opinion. Karl first wonders if the African family wanted a goat in the first place. He needs Karl and Steve to explain the situation thoroughly, and even puts himself in an African's shoes. Karl breaks it down, saying that'd it be easier to send the family some milk instead of getting them a goat they'd have to milk. In addition, the goat is unhappy and the person who received the "present" was unhappy. Ricky shrieks.
2. Spacemanc (4:55)
Steve declares Ricky gave him nothing for Christmas this year and had forgotten his birthday. He segues into talking about Virgin Galactic, who are planning on taking civilians into space. Ricky doesn't think he would do it, mainly because of safety issues. He'd like to see Victoria Principal go up first. Karl is probed. He does not think it is worth it because there's nowt there and you wouldn't be able to get out anyway. Karl thinks he should go to Scotland before the moon, since he hadn't been there yet. Ricky ups the ante and adds aliens to the equation. Karl nods, and said he'd go then. Karl also would go if he could get out and walk around on a planet.
3. Loneliest Man Ever (10:16)
Karl transitions to talking about some astronauts who walked the surface of the moon in 1971. One bloke was in the rocket when the other two wandered off, making him the loneliest man ever... in the world. Steve and Ricky are baffled, and Karl has to repeat what he's said. Ricky clarifies. Karl wonders about when lonely astronaut was alone - did he still bother to put his clothes on? Or did he just leave his tackle out? And if so, does it float up or down?
4. The Hulk, He Wasn't Happy (14:20)
Steve mentions the high volume of e-mail that have been sent in from all over the world. One listener listens during exams. Karl equates this to use of a calculator, which Ricky does not understand. The listener asks of Karl what superpower he'd like. Steve and Ricky offer a banquet of powers to select from, but Karl still questions the underlying motive. He takes time reviewing all the negatives that superheroes have to deal with and finally chooses invisibility, but with little fanfare. The benefit would be to go into shops when they are shut and stay in there all night. Karl comes the conclusion that a superpower would just be a hindrance.
5. Bungled In (19:47)
Steve browses some more e-mails and a listener tells about how he doesn't understand anything that Karl is talking about. Another questions probes if Karl has any personal mantras. Karl has no idea what this means. When Ben Franklin's "waste not, want not" comes up, he is further confused. Ricky explains it for him, but Karl equates it to hording and dumbs down the phrase so it is idiot proof. Ricky brings up a Winston Churchill quote - "Never have so few done so much for so many". Karl reduces this to a lack of a name check and he would feel bungled in.
6. You May Now Knob the Bride (24:21)
Another e-mail from Paul "The Party Animal" Parker has come in. He delivers a "fact": the kiss at a the wedding between the bride and groom originated from when in olden times they'd make love in front of half the village. The boys banter about the possibilities this provides.
7. Chinese Homeless Fella (26:38)
Karl begins on charities. He speaks about a charity worker he met that was collecting for the homeless at Christmas. Karl wonders why the homeless just can't do this themselves, since they aren't busy doing anything. Why should there be a middleman? Ricky brings things into perspective with factors like hunger, drug addiction, trauma, depression, and mental illness. Karl noticed a homeless fella later in the day, who was also Chinese. Everyone seems to regard this as a rarity, including Suzanne (apparently). Steve challenges the listeners (not from China) to send in pictures of Chinese homeless fellas.
8. Chimp Chat Show Host (29:50)
Monkey News kicks off with the jingle. Steve has to verify that it is indeed live. This monkey news is from a listener. This monkey news surrounds the lack of TV ideas. In Moscow, there is a TV channel that went through a load of redundancies. As a chat show was about to go live, the crew realised they had no one to present. For some reason, there was a chimp knocking about. They popped the chimp into a suit and he presented the show. Karl isn't sure how the chimp asked questions, but it went all right. Steve suggests Cher is on the show, and Karl carries on about how Cher loved the chimp and it was one of the best interviews she'd ever been part of. The chimp stayed on.
9. Don't Waste Your Breath Steve (34:47)
An real advert for the DVD of Extras Series 1 plays. The Ricky Gervais Show jingle plays and Ricky signs off wishing everyone a happy new year. Steve sends special wishes to Paul "the Party Animal" Parker.
Ricky: You're an idiot. What you think an African family wakes up and there's a little goat with a ribbon tied 'round it. And they go, "Oh look what Santa brought us!"
Karl: Then you got the goat going "What am I doin' 'ere'?"
Karl: If you bought me that as a present, I wouldn't be that happy.
Ricky: Well that's a little annoying, because we got you a trip to space and a goat.
Karl: He was the loneliest man ever... in the world.
Ricky: I always pop a towel or some pants on even if-
Karl: Not always.
Karl: Superman never told Lewis and that.
Ricky: Oh no! We might have put an end to the phenomenon that is Karl Pilkington!
Karl: Monkey News still to come.
Ricky: Haha! He's back!
Karl: Don't go chuckin' stuff out. You might need it later.
Karl: I don't wanna be bungled in with everyone else saying a load of blokes saved their lives an' that. See ya later.
Steve: Did you just say "bungled in"?
Karl: You're never gonna believe this. Homeless. Chinese Fella. I've never seen one of them.
Karl: For some reason.. there was a chimp knockin' about.
- Karl claims to not have been to Scotland, but had produced radio shows for Simon Pegg and Nick Frost at the Edinburgh Festival as mentioned on 24 August 2002.
- When Karl refers to Ricky answering the door and flashing him, it is most likely the event discussed on 13 April 2002.
Episode available for purchase via iTunes or Amazon (via The Pilkipedia Shop)
Do not inquire about free downloads.
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