16 February 2002

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Xfm Series 1
November 2001 - May 2002
List of episodes


  1. 10 November 2001 (Transcript)
  2. 17 November 2001 (Transcript)
  3. 24 November 2001 (Transcript)
  4. 01 December 2001 (Transcript)
  5. 08 December 2001 (Transcript)
  6. 15 December 2001 (Transcript)
  7. 22 December 2001 (Transcript)
  8. 12 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.1
  9. 19 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.2
  10. 26 January 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.3
  11. 09 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.4
  12. 16 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.5
  13. 23 February 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.6
  14. 02 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.7
  15. 09 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.8
  16. 16 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.9
  17. 23 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.10
  18. 30 March 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.11
  19. 06 April 2002 (Transcript) Early Years Ep.12
  20. 13 April 2002 (Transcript)
  21. 20 April 2002 (Transcript)
  22. 27 April 2002 (Transcript)
  23. 04 May 2002 (Transcript)

Please welcome to the stage... Ricky, Steve and Karl. The lads discuss rubbish band names, big-headed lads and feng shui.

Track Listing

For a full transcript of this episode see 16 February 2002/Transcript.

1. I Scored Once (0:00:00)

Ricky messes up the intro and then tells a story about putting a bin on Karl's head. Karl tells about the only goal he had ever scored while on the school football team, and how it was caused by being chased by a bee.

2. Ladies And Gentlemen Please Welcome To The Stage... (0:05:35)

Steve clears up the misconception that he and Mackenzie Crook are the same person. Steve then introduces the test to see whether or not bands will be able to make it big: The Stadium Test.

3. We Know What We Like (0:09:30)

Ricky and Steve test band names from the NME and listener emails. After, they talk about The Scaffold and its family ties with Paul McCartney.

4. Ironic Band Names (0:15:15)

Karl feels it would be all right to die in good weather such as it was that day. Ricky and Steve discuss and test ironic band names. Karl introduces his theory Gays Go Out Too Late for the first time.

5. White Van Karl (0:21:05)

Steve asks Karl the questions from the "White Van Man" column in The Sun. It is the first installment of what would become a regular feature on the show, White Van Karl.

6. Not Even Welephant Was Elephantastic (0:27:21)

Ricky and Steve complain about the state of Xfm, and then proceed to give away a signed board game called Doh Nutters.

7. A Couple Of Lads At Our School Had Really Big Heads (0:33:25)

Ricky and Steve reveal the winner of Doh Nutters and Karl talks about the two lads with big heads and webbed fingers from his childhood.

8. Think Before You Place Your Frog (0:37:21)

Ricky and Steve discuss feng shui. Karl talks about his brother a bit, as well as the reason he thinks feng shui has some credibility.

9. It's The Methane (0:41:54)

Karl talks about the Bermuda Triangle and the Loch Ness Monster. He also queries which lake the Loch Ness Monster is supposed to live in.

10. I Seem To Have Lost My Way (0:46:30)

Ricky pokes fun at Karl's previous question about the Loch Ness Monster. Karl's brother is brought up again.


Ricky: He's got to write a book, this bloke. You have got to write a book, Karl.

Ricky: When did it sting you?
Karl: When I was playing football.
Ricky: No. Listen Karl what I mean is, at what point in this story did the bee sting you? Straight away?
Karl: After half-time.

Steve: What is your view, Karl, on New York’s former mayor becoming Sir Rudy Giuliani? Sir Rudy Giuliani.
Karl: Is he happy with it?
Steve: He appears to be pleased with it.
Karl: Let it go ahead.


Athlete - Westside
Depeche Mode - I Feel Loved
Hundred Reasons - If I Could
Beck - Loser
Dandy Warhols - Get Off
Song For The Lovers: Rod Stewart - The First Cut Is The Deepest
Air - Don't Be Light
Sugar - Hoover Dam
The White Stripes - Fell In Love With A Girl
Mark B and Blade vs Britney Spears - The Unknown, Baby (One More Time)
Pharoahe Monch - Got You
Clinic - Walking With Thee
The Beatles - Long And Winding Road
The Sugababes - Are Freaks Electric?
Muse - Plug In Baby

Series 0   |   Series 1   |   Series 2   |   Series 3   |   Series 4
Presenters Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Karl Pilkington
Others Claire Sturgess | Ian Camfield | Simon Pegg | Nick Frost
Features Monkey News | Rockbusters | Song For The Ladies | Song For The Lovers
Hip-Hop Hooray | Cheap as Chimps | White Van Karl | Songs of Phrase
Cheeky Freak of the Week | Do We Need 'Em? | More...