28 September 2002

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Xfm Series 2
August 2002 - August 2003
List of episodes


  1. 24 August 2002 (Transcript)
  2. 31 August 2002 (Transcript)
  3. 07 September 2002 (Transcript)
  4. 14 September 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  5. 21 September 2002 (Transcript)
  6. 28 September 2002 (Transcript)
  7. 05 October 2002 (Transcript)
  8. 12 October 2002 (Transcript)
  9. 19 October 2002 (Transcript)
  10. 26 October 2002 (Transcript)
  11. 02 November 2002 (Transcript)
  12. 09 November 2002 (Transcript)
  13. 16 November 2002 (Transcript)
  14. 23 November 2002 (Transcript)
  15. 30 November 2002 (Transcript)
  16. 07 December 2002 (Transcript)
  17. 14 December 2002 (Transcript)
  18. 21 December 2002 (Transcript)
  19. 28 December 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  20. 04 January 2003 (Transcript)
  21. 11 January 2003 (Transcript)
  22. 18 January 2003 (Transcript)
  23. 25 January 2003 (Transcript)
  24. 01 February 2003 (Transcript)
  25. 08 February 2003 (Transcript)
  26. 15 February 2003 (Transcript)
  27. 22 February 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  28. 01 March 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  29. 08 March 2003 (Transcript)
  30. 15 March 2003 (Transcript)
  31. 22 March 2003 (Transcript)
  32. 29 March 2003 (Transcript)
  33. 05 April 2003 (Transcript)
  34. 12 April 2003 (Transcript)
  35. 19 April 2003 (Transcript)
  36. 26 April 2003 (Transcript)
  37. 03 May 2003 (Transcript)
  38. 10 May 2003 (Transcript)
  39. 17 May 2003 (Transcript)
  40. 31 May 2003 (Transcript)
  41. 07 June 2003 (Transcript)
  42. 14 June 2003 (Transcript)
  43. 21 June 2003 (Transcript)
  44. 28 June 2003
  45. 05 July 2003
  46. 12 July 2003
  47. 19 July 2003
  48. 26 July 2003
  49. 02 August 2003
  50. 09 August 2003
  51. 16 August 2003

Karl is absent as Suzanne has taken him to The Canary Islands for his birthday. Claire Sturgess stands in for him.

Track Listing

For a partial transcript of this episode see 28 September 2002/Transcript.

1. You Haven't Probed Me Enough (0:00:00)

The show starts and Ricky announces that Karl is away. Suzanne has taken Karl to Gran Canaria for his 30 birthday and Sturgess is standing in. Ricky suggests doing White Van Claire in Karl's absence.

2. Uneasy Listening (0:02:26)

Ricky and Steve discuss The Smiths, and then move onto bad band names and albums. They hypothesise a fictional band called Agent Provocateur. The lines are opened up to the public for bad album names, but Steve calls it out as Moyles-esque.

3. Golfy Golfy Golf Golf (0:06:23)

Claire's album selection is a success, but she loses her cred by dropping a call. After hearing a few more titles, the boys become discouraged and drop the album name routine. Ricky recalls the Moyles' Call-In story, where he and Steve called in attempting to subvert his competition. Ricky attempts to have some amusing observations and wants the public to join in.

4. That's One of the Banana Splits (0:09:37)

Ricky wants to play Pink. Steve fires back with some Pink trivia, but everything goes downhill when Ricky cannot recall all the Banana Splits. Steve threatens Xfm with pop tunes.

5. Murder She Did (0:13:25)

The Pink discussion continues after (and before) a quick ad link. Steve thinks that they may not be getting a lot of calls in due to the anti-war march, who he thinks will not have much of an effect. Steve brings up his pipe cause and asks Claire's opinion on it. Ricky thinks snuff should come back. Steve wants the cape back in style so he can sweep into a room, but Ricky thinks he'd look like a freak with a cape on. Crime solving shows are discussed. Pink finally gets played.

6. The Strokes - Kids Are Mental (0:20:37)

The backlash from playing Pink is felt. Ricky queries why he is on the show. Steve wonders why people even requests songs on the radio, further alienating people. Ricky reveals that they contractually agreed that Steve would make less money. The Strokes are actually played to redeem the situation.

7. Eight Minutes of Crackin' Music (0:23:10)

Ricky is upset. He bargains with the listeners that he will give them good music so long as they crank up the volume.

8. Did Karl Write the Office Too? (0:24:37)

Ricky praises The Who, and says that the song contained one of his favourite lyrics. He opens the line for his other favourite lyric which was from Life on Mars by David Bowie. A listener e-mails Ricky and Steve out about Karl providing all the material for the show. Ricky spazzes out over the competition and having Bowie lined up.

9. Mechant! (0:28:28)

The show moves on after another quick ad link. Ricky and Steve discuss aliens from adverts. Claire declares the show is spiraling. She tells a story about someone at Xfm who cried because of David Bowie being in the vicinity. Steve receives a scalding e-mail, the classic "Mechant" insult, leaving him confused. Ricky thinks it may be a Japanese fella who hates Steve. Claire defends Steve's hair. Steve doesn't want to pay for a catalogue from Habitat.. unless it had sexy ladies and a centerfold.

10. Two Quid Tip (0:35:42)

Steve's hair is the topic again as Ricky inquires how much it cost. It was 22 pounds, but Steve payed Gavin 24.

11. Musical Crimes (0:37:06)

Steve slams Ricky for not being up to date on movies and music. Steve spins a Stevie Wonder track. After the track, Steve has some trivia about the song. Ricky recalls his first album. Claire's first was a disco fever compilation. Steve's first purchase was the greatest hits of The Stranglers. Mozart solved crimes in his spare time. Claire ends the show with some Electric Six. Karl will be back next week (supposedly).


Ash - Envy
The Smiths - Cemetry Gates
Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Nate Dogg & Crowded House - The Weather Episode
Suede - Positivity
Cat Stevens - Sitting
Supergrass - Grace
Pink - Just Like A Pill
The Strokes - Someday
The Electric Soft Parade - Same Way Every Day
The Who - Won't Get Fooled Again
Beck - Lost Cause
David Bowie - Life On Mars?
Ms. Dynamite - Dy-Na-Mi-Tee
Badly Drawn Boy - About A Boy
Stevie Wonder - You Haven't Done Nothing
Electric Six - Danger! High Voltage!


Steve: Mechant! Who are you call sad! At least my mother still don’t cut my hair!

Ricky: And it was, um, it was, uh, titles with - song titles with golf. About golf. Like so he'd go like "Drive", by The Cars. And then that. And and I was phonin'; I was gettin' so excited. I wanted to phone up and go, "Huhhh - Duran Duran, 'Golfie Golfie Golf Golf!

Steve: Get the Sony people on the phone. This is dynamite.

Ricky: Ebony and Ivory. No more racism now. That one's done.

Steve: Rick, you know what that was? It was the sound of the Rule Book being torn up!

Steve: This is the new one from one of those trendy new bands, you know, the Boomtown Rats.

Extras and Trivia

  • This week's competition winner John Bull had this to say to Pilkipedia about his experience: Ricky sets a quiz - a lyric from a David Bowie song, Life On Mars. And I was first through and won my DVD copy of The Office. Pity I never got to speak with Karl!
  • Bingo, the Banana Split Ricky struggles to remember, is the same one he would later compare Garry Shandling to, in their infamous interview.
Series 0   |   Series 1   |   Series 2   |   Series 3   |   Series 4
Presenters Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Karl Pilkington
Others Claire Sturgess | Ian Camfield | Simon Pegg | Nick Frost
Features Monkey News | Rockbusters | Song For The Ladies | Song For The Lovers
Hip-Hop Hooray | Cheap as Chimps | White Van Karl | Songs of Phrase
Cheeky Freak of the Week | Do We Need 'Em? | More...