04 January 2003

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Xfm Series 2
August 2002 - August 2003
List of episodes


  1. 24 August 2002 (Transcript)
  2. 31 August 2002 (Transcript)
  3. 07 September 2002 (Transcript)
  4. 14 September 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  5. 21 September 2002 (Transcript)
  6. 28 September 2002 (Transcript)
  7. 05 October 2002 (Transcript)
  8. 12 October 2002 (Transcript)
  9. 19 October 2002 (Transcript)
  10. 26 October 2002 (Transcript)
  11. 02 November 2002 (Transcript)
  12. 09 November 2002 (Transcript)
  13. 16 November 2002 (Transcript)
  14. 23 November 2002 (Transcript)
  15. 30 November 2002 (Transcript)
  16. 07 December 2002 (Transcript)
  17. 14 December 2002 (Transcript)
  18. 21 December 2002 (Transcript)
  19. 28 December 2002 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  20. 04 January 2003 (Transcript)
  21. 11 January 2003 (Transcript)
  22. 18 January 2003 (Transcript)
  23. 25 January 2003 (Transcript)
  24. 01 February 2003 (Transcript)
  25. 08 February 2003 (Transcript)
  26. 15 February 2003 (Transcript)
  27. 22 February 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  28. 01 March 2003 (Transcript) ('Best of')
  29. 08 March 2003 (Transcript)
  30. 15 March 2003 (Transcript)
  31. 22 March 2003 (Transcript)
  32. 29 March 2003 (Transcript)
  33. 05 April 2003 (Transcript)
  34. 12 April 2003 (Transcript)
  35. 19 April 2003 (Transcript)
  36. 26 April 2003 (Transcript)
  37. 03 May 2003 (Transcript)
  38. 10 May 2003 (Transcript)
  39. 17 May 2003 (Transcript)
  40. 31 May 2003 (Transcript)
  41. 07 June 2003 (Transcript)
  42. 14 June 2003 (Transcript)
  43. 21 June 2003 (Transcript)
  44. 28 June 2003
  45. 05 July 2003
  46. 12 July 2003
  47. 19 July 2003
  48. 26 July 2003
  49. 02 August 2003
  50. 09 August 2003
  51. 16 August 2003

Track Listing

For a full transcript of this episode see 04 January 2003/Transcript.

1. Can't Believe Our Luck (0:00:00)

Steve always laughs when Karl is called a "producer", but only Karl has come up with anything for the show. They'll keep Rockbusters and Do We Need 'Em?, and Karl introduces the new features Ricktuals and War Do You Think of That. Steve poses the similarity between Lord of the Rings and this show.

2. All Is Quiet On New Year's Day (0:04:04)

Karl agrees with Ricky's favourite Bowie album, and Steve reluctantly announces this week's Rockbusters prizes, which include a VHS of Minority Report which Karl already watched. Karl and Suzanne went to see The Madness Musical on New Year's Day.

3. Some Bits and Bobs (0:08:04)

Steve asks Karl how Christmas went since he hadn't bought Suzanne a gift. Karl ended up getting her a few little things from Boots, and thus we first learn of the famous double packet of condoms gift. In defense, he has since bought her some shoes for £72 and he believes that the excitement of Christmas is in the not knowing what the gift is.

4. The Best He Can Do With the Brain He's Got (0:13:36)

Karl takes Ricky and Steve through his Christmas morning. Suzanne was surprised she had gifts but was puzzled by the fact that they were wrapped in wallpaper. She gave him some shoes and a Getaway game for PS. Steve is worried he's done more damage to their relationship than anything, and might shop for Suzanne himself next year. He can't think of what Karl brings to the relationship, but Ricky knows (80 times).

5. Usually Something Wrong With Them (0:19:25)

Karl reads off the Rockbusters clues.

6. Are You 86 Years Old? (0:22:05)

Ricky and Steve decide on an impromptu Record of the Week and chat about how no one else on Xfm plays their own records, but Karl sticks up for his station. Steve asks Karl about New Years which sparks a discussion about how Karl tried to book a table at a restaurant in Covent Garden but booked at Victoria by mistake, so they ended up staying home. Karl was annoyed by the 100 Greatest Moments show on TV, especially by the nudist with white sofa. He thinks they should bring New Year's forward so he can get some sleep. Steve is worried that Karl acts like an old man who has no fun. But that's when Karl came up with Ricktuals, which turns out to be quite brief. Karl treats the show like a checklist, and has another feature idea Around The World in 80 Gervais, to which Ricky has unkind words and Steve wants to register as a charity.

7. Karl Can Confuse a Scientist (0:29:39)

The 2nd installment of Do We Need 'Em? explores the octopus with an expert who might work in a fish shop. Next Karl wants to explore snails about which he knows they can sleep for 13 years. Another idea he has is for a reality show with celebrities being homeless and they chat about how bad it is to be homeless. Steve has a game show idea called "On the Game".

8. It's The Detail I Like (0:39:22)

Karl's annoyed that Ricky and Steve came back from the holiday without a new ideas and are slagging off his. Karl shares his War Do You Think Of That feature information for the day, which he got by reading the first line and adding some guess work. Ricky and Steve speculate on board game players who could help with war, and on Hitler's favourite elephant.

9. Everyone Needs a Code (0:44:54)

Karl's not happy, and it might be the Sellotape Ricky put on his head during the song. Karl has a final War Do You Think of That fact. Ricky would like to secretly film Karl like in Nature Watch, and wants to download the music in his head. Steve doesn't want to discuss whether Prince is a genius.

10. You Say Ricky Gervais Doesn't Put Any Work Into the Show (0:51:08)

Ricky has made up his 5 facts for That's Rickydiculous during the song, for the next break.

11. They Deserve the Junk (0:51:42)

Ricky's got a fact for the nerds about the theme tune for The Office. Ricky gives 3 facts for his new feature and Karl jumps on the one that he thinks is Rickydiculous. Rockbusters answers are given, and Ricky and Steve are baffled by the fact that so many people got them.


Steve: What did you do for New Year?
Karl: ... I cocked it up a bit.
Steve: You got the wrong day..?


Forty-two pound for a torch? That's a bit pricey, innit? D.
He'll fit some chocolate to your feet. A.
Do you think your kid will get that strawberry for me? W.P.


Death In Vegas - Scorpio Rising
David Bowie - Watch That Man
Coldplay - The Scientist
Bob Dylan - All Along the Watchtower
The Streets - Don't Mug Yourself
The Stone Roses - Elephant Stone
Richard Ashcroft - Science of Silence
Badly Drawn Boy - Born Again
Sonic Youth - Sugar Kane
The Vines - Ms. Jackson
Turin Brakes - Painkiller
Prince - Sometimes It Snows In April
Cat Stevens - Sitting

External Links

Series 0   |   Series 1   |   Series 2   |   Series 3   |   Series 4
Presenters Ricky Gervais | Stephen Merchant | Karl Pilkington
Others Claire Sturgess | Ian Camfield | Simon Pegg | Nick Frost
Features Monkey News | Rockbusters | Song For The Ladies | Song For The Lovers
Hip-Hop Hooray | Cheap as Chimps | White Van Karl | Songs of Phrase
Cheeky Freak of the Week | Do We Need 'Em? | More...